The amount of fluid that comes out of Bill S Preston, Esquire, is amazing. — Jon Madsen and friends,
The Lost Boys @1:14:06

This is the fourth time Kirk’s been beaten up. … He’s like the 23rd century Rocky. … Just let everyone in the universe beat the crap out of him until everyone in the universe gets tired. — Jon Madsen and friends,
Star Trek @1:45:33

I’ve never really been a hooker, but if I think if I was, I wouldn’t be going after guys in weird masks, like that’s gonna be a good business choice. She is a hooker on the edge. — Jon Madsen and friends,
The Watchmen @0:52:18

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    • Cobra 2 comments by: 

        Zarban on 2011-07-07 13:26:01
      • Good work from Jon and JR. There's a bit of background, a little analysis, and a whole lot of mocking. However, not a word about the fact that a whole scene takes place at a roadside shop that sells rubber chickens and fake snakes. What's up with that? Very low volume on this. (Levelator would probably help a lot. And it's free.) When JR says there's a guy in the bathroom with a microphone (when the motorcyclist bursts in), it's actually Cobra and Ingrid hiding. They went in a moment before and come out a moment afterward.

        Jon on 2011-07-11 02:51:03
      • Hey, glad you listened! Thanks for the quotes and comments as usual. And you're right. I forgot to level up this time. It's been so long that I forgot my usual procedures. Sorry everyone who has to turn the volume way up!
    • Flash Gordon 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-07-05 16:59:30
      • Self-conscious and somewhat rambling debut commentary from Jon Madsen. He has a few kinks to work out at first with the DVD, but the audio quality is perfect, and it's his favorite movie, which count for a lot.
    • Highlander (director’s cut) 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-12-24 23:26:42
      • Very funny stuff from Jon Madsen and friends, especially at first. It's a bit of a party, and it drags a bit in the middle, but this isn't a movie that rewards deep analysis. A fair amount of Queen discussion, Sean Connery lust (from the ladies, anyway), and what happened in which Rocky movie. "It's a Kind of Magic" is a great Queen song.
    • Kill Bill: Vol. 1 2 comments by: 

        Zarban on 2009-09-20 15:03:02
      • Terrific commentary from Jon and friends on the mannered pulp epic. Nice analysis and fair amount of humor. Note: The fight scene switches to black and white in the US version when the Bride plucks out one guy's eye and switches back later when she blinks in a close up. Something I noticed: the Bride says "entropy" when she means "atrophy" when talking about getting her legs working again.

        Mike on 2010-09-14 01:17:10
      • Pretty good commentary. Lots of trivia about the movie, and some decent analysis at times.
    • Kill Bill: Vol. 2 2 comments by: 

        Zarban on 2009-10-11 15:49:09
      • Good follow-up to their commentary on Volume 1, altho a bit flatter but with a bit more analysis. Two thirds of the way in, Jon becomes deranged and denies that Esteban is the same actor as the sheriff from Volume 1 (Michael Parks) and then claims that the original The Italian Job was not very good. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. (And thanks for the shout-out.) Toward the end, they stray from the topic at hand, but always inspired by what the movie calls to mind.

        Mike on 2010-07-12 00:51:20
      • It seems like they're using the commentary as a way to figure out why it is that they like the movie. While I see the value in this exercise, it doesn't really make for a very good commentary. However, Jon's Tarantino impression is damn near perfect.
    • Legend (theatrical cut) 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2011-08-12 17:23:29
      • Jon and friends get awfully excited and talk over each other at first, but eventually calm down. They have good fun with a film they want to love more than they know it deserves. They go on quite a bit about Mia Sarah's age. The reason she doesn't look 15 is that she turned 17 during filming in mid-1984. "Cinematographer" and "director of photography" are basically the same thing in the US (which applies to IMDb). In the UK (which applies to the movie), DP is a separate job from lighting. Around 1:24:00, Jon is struck down by the force of sunlight and claims that The Goonies is bad. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
    • Lost 1×01 & 2 ‘Pilot’ 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2012-12-02 00:24:46
      • Very good work from Jon Madsen and Maria. They did this in the middle of the series, so there are some spoilers, but they don't know the whole story. The pilot's corpse does indeed fall out of the cockpit when Jack gets the door open.
    • The Lost Boys 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2010-10-22 19:11:02
      • I wrote this review a year ago but there were gaps in it, so I didn't publish it, but I am filling in the gaps now and publishing it.
        This is the worst commentary that I've logged on this site. What drivel! And there's a lot of microphone bumping at the beginning. And Jon says Mick Jones from Foreigner sings "Lost in the Shadows", but it's really Lou Gramm.
        Actually, it's not that bad. In fact, it's really quite good. Jon and the gang are in top form. They give a lot of background and spread the love around among the actors and director. They compare it to other vampire movies and talk a bit about the other movies each actor has done. Good stuff. I don't know what year-ago me was thinking. Maybe he/I was drunk.
        And there is no way Corey Haim is gay in this movie. That is ridiculous.
        Okay. They're right. I don't know how I didn't see that before. He is a total flaming Nelly. And I love the way his mother subtly suggests he should come out of the closet by telling him about the "closet monster". Good one, Hot Mom.
        Plus they've actually gotten dumber in the past year. The kid on the milk carton is the same kid who is with the vampires now (Laddie). And no, milk companies don't put missing children on the cartons anymore. People started switching to jugs because the pictures creeped them out.
        In retrospect, I was being too hard on them. Sure, the "cum-ulonimbus" joke was better than anything they said as filler, but they were just making filler. Plus, the discussion of who is better at saving the world: Jack Bauer or Bill S Preston, Esquire, is hilarious.
        I don't think Star meant that she was supposed to kill Michael instead of sleeping with him. She meant that she targeted him at the carnival so she could kill him. But David changed his mind at some point and decided to make Michael a part of the gang.
        Yeah, I agree with year-ago me. That is rock-solid logic. On a side note, I totally agree with Jon that you have to fill the guns with holy water directly. Diluting it with regular water flavored with garlic is bound to be ineffective. And Highlander vs vampire? I vote Highlander. He's nigh-invulnerable.
        And just FYI: in the original novel, they killed Dracula with knives, not a stake. That came from the 1931 movie or maybe the play.
        You tell 'em, year-ago me.
    • Point Break 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2010-08-25 16:47:15
      • Jon Madsen and friends do a good job with the best president-mask-wearing, parachuting-and-surfing, bank robber movie ever. They indulge in a fair bit of chit chat about upcoming movies at the beginning, which is annoying. Spoiler for Book of Eli around 1:33:00. General heist-like movie talk around 1:35:00 They mess up the countdown. The correct place to start is with the 20th Century Fox title, which they sing along with. Wait—Better off Dead and One Crazy Summer are the same movie?! You take that back! One of them has a French girl and the other has Demi Moore! And one of them ends with a ski competition and the other ends with a boat race! They're completely different, I tell you! I'm pretty sure that the reason they use Reagan, Carter, Nixon, and LBJ and not Ford is because no one ever made a Gerald Ford Halloween mask. Edgar Wright and Quentin Tarantino talked about how much they like the foot chase in Point Break in their commentary for Hot Fuzz (which parodies it). I think what Bigelow brought to the film was the sense to emphasize the building of the friendship between Johnny and Bodhi. The protagonist and antagonist become close friends and have two of the biggest character arcs in genre film.
    • Poltergeist 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-11-14 20:47:33
      • Good commentary from Jon and JR. They call Craig T Nelson "Coach" a lot. They call Tobe (toe-bee) Hooper "Toab" a lot. They do some embarrassing calculations to determine that the mom got pregnant at 15. They wander off topic a fair amount, but always inspired by what's on screen (Christmas movies, TV remote controls, Craig T Nelson's conservatism). At about 1h 30m, JR gets disconnected (Jon explains) and we hear only Jon's track for 10 minutes. Heather O'Rourke died from a misdiagnosed congenital bowel obstruction in 1988 at 12, when Poltergeist III was in post-production. She "looked really weird" in the film because of the medication she was taking. The stories that Spielberg really directed the film have been around since the film came out. Hooper was stoned most of the time, but Spielberg was contractually bound not to direct while he was prepping ET, so he's always said, 'No, I was just on set every day, answering questions, giving directions, making suggestions, and dispensing advice; and Tobe would just nod, when he was even there.' Poltergeists are said to be invisible (as opposed to visible ghosts) and center on a person (rather than a location) because it's actually the child who throws and moves things when no one is watching. Once video cameras were used in poltergeist investigations, it became obvious. Cemeteries legitimately get moved from time to time. It involves a lot of paperwork and typically involves reburying in new coffins, but there's relatively little that family members can do, if they've even heard about it. And they sometimes really do leave the bodies and just rebury a bucket a dirt in place of each body.
    • Predator 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-07-18 15:52:22
      • Fair commentary from Jon and Zo—who is a real fan of the film—but they often get off topic and ramble quite a bit. They get more focused and funny when Maxim arrives about 15 minutes from the end.
    • Predator 2 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-08-08 14:57:30
      • Good group commentary from Jon Madsen and friends. They don't consult IMDb at first, so there's a fair amount of "Hey, there's that one guy" talk. The answers are Maria Conchita Alonzo, Steve Kahan (cousin of Lethal Weapon director Richard Donner), Morton Downey, Jr., and Robert Davi. It gets a little confusing when the anti-Predator 2 group shows up, and multiple people are talking at once. Oh, also: Not a word spoken about that scene where they come out of the police station and cross a street filled with cars from the 1960s? There are three red 1965-66 Mustangs in frame at once, an old Chevy pickup, what I believe is a Studebaker Hawk, and (I think) a Comet.
    • Raising Arizona 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2010-04-23 20:50:53
      • Very good early commentary from some real fans. They mock the fashions and some of the acting even while adoring it. I'd forgotten what fun this movie was. I love the way the convicts have been in prison so long they don't realize that hair pomade is out of style. They look up "recognizance" and get it a little wrong. It's not used of hospital patients, only criminal suspects. And it means "to recognize" a debt to the court and by extension to promise to keep the peace, return to court, etc. There's a weird side conversation in the second half about The Journey of Natty Gann.
    • Road House 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-10-06 18:10:19
      • Good work from Jon and friends. Nice insider info from an actual bouncer. (And thanks for the shout out.) Carré Otis is the "main girl" they're thinking of in Wild Orchid. "Audi" doesn't really stand for anything. It means "listen" in Latin and was started by a guy named Horch (German for "listen"). They merged with other car companies in the 1930s to become Auto Union, and only started using the Audi name again in 1969 after other mergers.
    • RoboCop 2 comments by:  •

        Jon on 2011-07-23 18:22:56
      • oh good, you found this. i was going to link this up to the jon madsen movie commentary as well, but was too lazy this time. we'll be doing lots more commentaries as 'geeking off.' i certainly like the name much better anyway.

        Zarban on 2011-07-23 18:54:27
      • Great!
    • The Running Man 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2009-07-09 22:54:34
      • Very good group commentary by Jon and friends. By the end, they've convinced themselves that they need to make The Running Man 2: Running Out of Time or possibly The Running Man 2: More Running.
    • Star Trek (2009) 1 comment by: 

        Zarban on 2010-03-06 12:11:27
      • Jon and JR address the coolness and problems of JJ Abrams' gajillion-dollar fan film. They discuss the relevance of the Beastie Boys to 23rd century culture, the value and history of the two-handed punch, and the possibility of human football pon farr. The captain of the Kelvin is Faran Tahir, who was the bad guy in Iron Man. The guy in The Mummy was Arnold Vosloo, who has since been in some episodes of 24 and Chuck. They're using Skype, and there's a good bit of distortion in JR's voice from time to time, but it doesn't last long each time. When Chevkov beamed Kirk and Sulu back, he specifically says that he's compensating for the pull of gravity. The fact that they broke the pad just means that he didn't compensate quite enough.
    • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 2 comments by: 

        Zarban on 2009-07-19 13:50:04
      • Very good duo commentary from Jon and JR. Funny and semi-informative. However, "revenge is a dish best served cold" doesn't originate with this movie. It appears in the novel The Godfather and was known with somewhat different wordings for ages.

        Bradley on 2010-10-06 00:38:57
      • This is a pretty good track with some solid bits of info and humor. Also, the two commentators have good chemistry.
    • Star Trek V: The Final Frontier 2 comments by:  •

        the denim cowboy on 2011-01-20 13:07:26
      • nice commentary guys pretty funny but please next time turn the film down a bit i couldent hear you after the end credits started. please do another one

        Zarban on 2012-02-03 15:29:26
      • Great Work from Jon Madsen and Trek West 5. The movie audio is too loud in the version that has it, so you may want to listen to the version without the movie soundtrack. I actually played them at the same time, with the movie audio version reduced in volume, but there are a couple of times when the audio gets out of sync.
    • Three Amigos! 2 comments by: 

        Zarban on 2008-05-26 18:53:52
      • Jon Madsen does a great job. A couple of real fans laugh and joke their way thru the 80s comedy, reminiscing about how the movie taught them new words like “infamous” and "plethora" when they first saw it as kids.

        Bradley on 2010-09-29 20:02:56
      • Fun commentary. The two commentators reminisce and laugh a lot at the on screen hijinks. They have some good discussions throughout as well.
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