Recording a commentary
You can create your own commentary very easily—probably more easily than you think. Possibly less. I don’t know how smart you are.
Getting Started
The first thing you’ll need is a movie or TV show that you want to comment on. That’s no surprise. If you’re doing the recording on your computer, play the movie on a different player, so that any processing doesn’t create a stutter that will screw up the sync. I like to watch them in my awesome home theater with the 119″ screen and 5.1 surround sound, but you could be a Brazilian street urchin watching it on a black-and-white TV or something. That part doesn’t matter.
Equipment
Next, you’ll need a microphone and something to record on. I use a device called a “laptop computer” attached to a USB microphone. This is nice because the Samson CO3U I have plugs right into a USB port, so I don’t need a fancy sound board or whatever like in the horse-and-buggy days of podcasting. Plus there’s the undeniable coolness factor. It has a cold, metallic feel and impressive heft—like a gun. The Blue Snowball USB mike
A Logitech USB desk mike is also a good choice and dirt cheap. I started out happily enough with the Logitech desktop mike. (Well, I really started out in 1981 as a 14-year-old with a cassette tape recorder, taping myself watching Motel Hell on HBO. God, what I wouldn’t give for that tape now. I could prove that [shaking you by the lapels] I invented movie commentaries!)
If you prefer, you can record directly into an Edirol R-09HR
This is where I'll be listening to your commentary track. Don't suck.
If you need to be able to record more than one or two commentators, you can go full on into podcasting equipment, with a mixer and some XLR mikes. These are still reasonably cheap, and they give you great flexibility. I can’t say enough about Cliff Ravenscraft, the Podcast Answer Man, and his kit sales; you may not want to pay for his consulting time, but the free advice on his podcast is well worth your time to check out. Check out his video on how a mixer board works.
For recording software, I use Audacity, which is both free and terrific. People who use Macs use GarageBand because it’s bundled with the Mac and has a grungy name.
If you want to record with friend who is not in the same room, I highly recommend both of you getting Skype (software is free; Skype-to-Skype calls are free) and using Call Graph (or similar software for Macs) to record the calls. You can even record each side separately, then combine them as a true stereo file in Audacity.
Introduction and Keeping Sync
Follow this checklist:
- Set things up
- Turn the sound down
- Turn the subtitles on
- Start recording
- Announce yourself and the title of the thing you’re watching and the version (region, release, cut—whatever)
- Instruct the listener on when to press Play (after the studio logo fades or whatever)
- Give a countdown and press Play yourself
- Describe what you’re seeing (“You should be seeing a car approaching…” or read a couple of the on-screen credits)
Having the sound entirely off makes editing easier later (you don’t have to worry about messing up the sync as much). Or you may want to have the sound on low, so that listeners can keep in sync more easily without your help. I used to recommend calling out the time code now and then during recording, but people watch on Blu-Ray, DVR, Hulu, different regions of DVD, and computer formats, so the time code pretty meaningless.
One good way is to quote a line of dialog at the same time as a character (you might want to do this later on a second audio track); that’s the method Rifftrax uses, and it works consistently, regardless of the video format you’re watching.
Commentating
Then try to say something for the next couple of hours. You don’t have to be all jokey or an expert on the film, but you had better be moderately entertaining and you had better have looked up the movie on IMDb and Wikipedia. You don’t really want to record yourself for the entire world saying, “Man, what movie was that guy in? I know I’ve seen him before” while your listeners are screaming “That’s Tim Curry, you stupid bastard!” If there is more than one of you, one can look something up while the other continues to talk.
Dos and Don’ts
- Don’t belch on mike. Retard.
- Don’t announce when you’re going to take a leak.
- Do talk about what specifically is happening on-screen. This is generally bad form on a real director’s commentary (“Now he’s going to the desk, and he’s going to get the gun, and he’s going to go find her and try to shoot her…”) but fan commentaries need help syncing, and a lot of people listen to fan commentaries without watching the movie at the same time, so it actually helps to describe a bit of the action.
- Do talk about the actors and their characters by name. Have IMDb open or make a few notes beforehand.
And do try to stay on topic. Chat about current events later, when you aren’t in the middle of your listener’s favorite movie. And, if you do get off-topic, at least stay in the realm of movies and the genre you’re watching. The weather, politics, what happened last night on that one TV show, what might happen two weeks from now on that other TV show, and what the deal is with your brother are all boring for everyone, especially a year later, when your audience is actually listening.
If you’re doing a commentary as part of a podcast where you talk about other things, it’s really best to keep them separate. Do your regular podcast separate from the commentary (maybe it’s really brief that week) and urge people to go download the commentary or else put it in the feed as a bonus.
Saving and Naming
You’ll need to edit your commentary and export it to MP3 format. Come up with a clear and consistent file naming convention (I download a ton of these, and JLK12.mp3 is not helpful). Similarly, be sure to fill out the MP3 property tags so that players can display them properly. Using AAC or MP4 or OGG formats will just reduce your potential audience.
Also, if it’s a group commentary, I heartily recommend that you use Levelator to balance the levels of the different voices. This is a free utility from the Conversations Network that ingeniously brings quieter voices up and louder voices down to the same level.
Submitting
Then you’re ready to upload your commentary to your website. Maybe you have a real website or just a free WordPress blog or something. Or maybe you register at Archive.org or a free podcast distributor. It’s up to you.
Once you’ve found a place for it, you’re ready to submit your commentary track to the House of Commentaries.
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