[as Flash] Look, you literally told me how to fly this thing about 45 seconds ago. I don’t feel sufficiently qualified to be able to have sex and fly it at the same time.
— Speakeasy & The Denim Cowboy,
Flash Gordon @0:43:45
[Granny said] that back in her day, people didn’t get … divorced and then never spoke to their ex-spouse— Which would be the 1890s. Well, … This is 30 years in the future. … In her day, people did exactly that.
— Tysto & Speakeasy,
I, Robot @0:06:26
When there’s explosions in space ships and stuff, always, as soon as a ceiling panel explodes, a bunch of tubes fall out. Oh, I know. It’s like the ceiling is packed with loose tubes.
— Jon Madsen and friends,
Star Trek @0:08:50
I like that Iowa is still basically farm country. … Except for that giant canyon in the middle of nowhere … that young Kirk almost fell into.
— Jon Madsen and friends,
Star Trek @0:27:39
If you think about it, they really only want to destroy your possessions. The gremlins are very Buddhist in that way.
— Technicolor Commentary,
Gremlins @1:21:10
Does that mean Gizmo’s a girl? Or are they like seahorses, where the men give birth? They’re nothing. They’re like seahorses.
— Technicolor Commentary,
Gremlins @0:37:38
[rolling credits] Costumers! There! Kill them all!
— Hey, Want to Watch a Movie?,
Xanadu @1:41:15
It looks like a cruise ship commercial. [laughter] Circus folk everywhere!
— Hey, Want to Watch a Movie?,
Xanadu @1:34:39
I actually like this! [laughter] … I didn’t ever say that it was bad. It’s just ridiculous!
— Hey, Want to Watch a Movie?,
Xanadu @0:56:39
Come on, there’s no choice! I mean, the big band thing is way cooler than that crappy ’80s sh**. [laughter] Even in 1980, it was way cooler!
— Hey, Want to Watch a Movie?,
Xanadu @0:51:49
How much money do you have to donate to the presidential campaign to get to the nerve center of NORAD on a tour? That’s gotta at least be the ‘golden patriot’ level.
— Spoilers Podcast,
WarGames @0:56:07
I like how Broderick turns even geekier when he’s around his parents. His posture suffers, and he instantly grows a yo-yo out of his hand.
— Spoilers Podcast,
WarGames @0:49:44
Typical day in Seattle here. … Uh, there’s a shaft of sunlight there. That can’t poss— That must be back projection.
— Spoilers Podcast,
WarGames @0:17:01
How can they cut the power? … One of them went to a year of junior college.
— Down in Front,
Aliens @1:58:05
That alien was on a suicide mission. Obviously that alien did not think his plan thru completely.
— Down in Front,
Aliens @1:29:30
It’s nice to know, in the future, the Buddy Holly haircut will come back. And I love the idea of futuristic suit design is ‘Oh, we’ll just up-turn the collar on the top part.’ … It’s half Members Only jacket, half blazer.
— Down in Front,
Aliens @0:11:33
Here’s the final explanation, which is, like, wow! Dude, you’re a serious fruit bat. … Even Batman’s kind of like, ‘Really?!‘ … I can’t think of another movie where I’ve seen the two villains explaining their evil plots to each other.
— Down in Front,
The Prestige @2:08:11
Michael Caine is the one takin’ us by the hand and goin’ ‘Dude, I don’t know. I’m just as lost as you.’ … Michael Caine is C-3P0. … Well, now-days he is. He used to be Luke Skywalker.
— Down in Front,
The Prestige @1:59:13
I’ve gotten into that Goldie Wilson thing with people. … He sucked. He goes, ‘I’m gonna clean up this town!’ Meanwhile, the town was pristine. … What did he do? The place looked like utter sh** under Mayor Goldie Wilson.
— Opie & Anthony gang,
Back to the Future @0:06:16
I like the other one where Marty … leaves letters in a mailbox at a lake house. [laughter] And Sandra Bullock gets them? You’re thinking of The Matrix. [laughter] Oh, I’m sorry.
— Opie & Anthony gang,
Back to the Future @0:52:23
[as re-capitated Horseman] Ah, so that’s what you guys look like.
— AfterShock Commentaries,
Sleepy Hollow @1:42:06
[gasp] A pentagram! … [as Ichabod] Obviously, this magical symbol was drawn by a girl. Notice the long eyelashes and the pink coloring!
— AfterShock Commentaries,
Sleepy Hollow @1:15:33
[Christina Ricci's] doin’ a new film that everyone’s really excited about called Black Snake Moan. Huh. I’m interested. … The poster is basically her in a skanky outfit, shackled. … Someone’s been visiting my dreams again.
— AfterShock Commentaries,
Sleepy Hollow @1:07:33
Fuzzikins down! Fuzzikins down! Never leave a bear behind! Heh, heh. ‘Bare behind.’
— Rifftrax,
Star Wars 6: Return of the Jedi @1:41:42
[as Vader] ♫ And the cat’s in the cradle with the silver spoon, Little Boy Blue, and the Man in the Moon….♫ [cries]
— Rifftrax,
Star Wars 6: Return of the Jedi @1:28:38
[as Jabba] Try guessing where my genitals are. If you get within a meter, you can go free.
— Rifftrax,
Star Wars 6: Return of the Jedi @0:17:48
Somehow the ark gets back to Egypt, so I’m guessin’ [Moses] went back to kick some ass. … He’s like, ‘Hey, we got commandments now in a frickin’ golden box!’ Commandments that say ‘Don’t kill anyone.’ [as Moses] Let’s go win a war!
— Sick Feats,
Raiders of the Lost Ark @1:05:30
In 2009 … that would have just been a conversation over texts. And no one would have had to burn anything down. ‘Hey, can we have your medallion?’ ‘No.’ ‘We’ll burn your place down.’ ‘Okay fine.’ ‘LOL.’
— Sick Feats,
Raiders of the Lost Ark @0:34:24
Look at John Turturro dancing in the background. I must say, that’s a good dance move. Very. And it works in the club scene.
— Technicolor Commentary,
O Brother, Where Art Thou? @1:28:55
They dive on the chicken, and I’m convinced that they shot the chicken some other way, ’cause … would they really just risk smooshing a chicken? Well, they probably have chicken handlers. Or, as I like to call them, ‘c*** handlers.’
— Technicolor Commentary,
O Brother, Where Art Thou? @0:10:19
He’s turning into Joe Louis all of a sudden. Yeah, that’s right. Or James Kirk. [laughs] No, James Kirk would never have spent the night with that woman and just looked at the fire. [laughter] She’d be pregnant by now.
— MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @1:14:25
One of the female morlocks has had a Brazilian. [laughter] Female morlocks? … Which ones are they? Their buttons are done up on the other side.
— MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @1:10:30
Come on, mate. Arc her up. Kick the tires and light the fires. [laughter] Tony’s gettin’ very excited. Well, it is takin’ a while, isn’t it? … Twenty-five minutes in, and he’s finally kickin’ the switch.
— MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @0:23:16
‘Filby.’ A very unfortunate name for an English hero, Filby. … ‘How’s your son?’ ‘Oh good. He’s thinking of joining the British Intelligence.’ [laughter] ‘And he’s a homosexual.’
— MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @0:16:13
So, the first demonstration of the time machine. Pretty amazing that even the model works. … [As Filby] I don’t know how you’re gonna get into it, George. … You could send mice to the future….
— MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @0:12:04
This is what a Victorian time machine would look like. Yeah, this sort of sedan chair. Yes. Well, that’s very English. ‘I’ll sit in my sedan chair, and the world will change around me.’
— MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @0:08:30
I love this bit where [Venkman] comes on to it, and it has the negative reaction. The slime is like, ‘I’ll scream rape!’
— Down in Front,
Ghostbusters 2 @0:49:35
By the way, [Winston] has apparently fled the scene. [laughter] He was here; he informed them that the guy’s name is ‘The Hammer,’ and he has run for his life.
— Down in Front,
Ghostbusters 2 @0:43:29
It’s gonna be like domestic abuse. I’m gonna be slapping this movie around, telling it I love it, but it kind of deserves it. … ‘Why do you make me do this to you?!’ ‘You think I like hurting you like this, Ghostbusters 2?!’
— Down in Front,
Ghostbusters 2 @0:06:44
This right here: Jason Reitman, future director. … That’s good trivia! … And of course his line is, ‘My dad says you’re full of crap.’ The dad of course is the director of this film.
— Down in Front,
Ghostbusters 2 @0:13:09
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