Quotes from Rifftrax

Sounds like the music from Deadwood and the music from Game of Thrones had a music baby. — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @1:50:53

♪♫ Deep in a meadow— ♪♫ ♪♫ Deep in a meadow— ♪♫ ♪♫ Deep in a meadow— ♪♫ Damn mockingjays! It’s a bad time! — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @1:43:10

To survive in the Hunger Games, you need wits … also, the luck of being chased up a tree with a lethal wasp nest, and having another girl who … lets you know about the nest, and … enemies all going to sleep without posting a watch. — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @1:28:36

[re: start] Wait till they find out those supplies are 100% cans of Mr. Pibb. Well, they needed a sponsor. — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @1:10:01

[as crowd] *gasp!* Two people we don’t know are holding hands! They’re the world’s greatest entertainers! And their animated GIF of fire from a Geocities page! I love that! — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @0:35:31

[re: mining town] Oh, The Future, you look so much like the past, it’s adorable. — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @0:10:35

[as Katniss] Just meeting Edward Cullen here. Nope. Wrong young adult lit phenom. Th— There’s no vampires in this? Nope. Werewolves? Surely there’s werewolves! Nary a one. Then what the hell is the point?! — Rifftrax,
The Hunger Games @0:06:22

[as Statue of Liberty] Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled mutants, yearning to breathe fire. — Rifftrax,
X-Men @1:28:39

My mutant powers: I can watch reruns of the hit Paul Reiser series Mad About You any time I want without a TV. I simply choose not to exercise those powers. — Rifftrax,
X-Men @1:13:09

[re: Sabretooth] Mr. Eyebrows! It’s like he glued two tribbles to his forehead. — Rifftrax,
X-Men @1:08:03

[as producer] Mr. Stewart, sir, we’ll back the money truck right up to your door if only you’ll lend a tiny shred of credibility to our comic book franchise. — Rifftrax,
X-Men @0:49:07

[Wolverine's truck explodes after crashing into a tree] Whoa, was he hauling around antique C-4 explosives in his truck? — Rifftrax,
X-Men @0:22:26

I think she might have happened upon Thunderdome. Mike … Can’t we just get beyond Thunderdome? — Rifftrax,
X-Men @0:12:02

[re: concentration camp] Mike, why don’t you just pop in Shoah, and we can really have some laughs, huh? [waffles] … Rebecca Romaine-Lettuce sporting nothing but blue paint and shower appliques! — Rifftrax,
X-Men @0:05:18

[re: Criswell] His hair looks like ocean beach at high tide. I think I see a tiny Kelly Slater in the curl. — Rifftrax,
Plan 9 from Outer Space @0:02:53

Just then, McGonagall’s ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’ ringtone picked the worst possible time to go off. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @2:20:31

Ha, a chase! I suppose it’s too much to hope they’ll hop into muscle cars and squeal around the streets of San Francisco? No, but there are sweater vests, Mike. ♪♫ Sweater vests! ♪♫ [Draco removes vest] Dammit, Bill! — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @1:40:25

[as lonely Draco] *sigh* Well, I guess I’ll be non-specifically evil in here for a while. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @1:10:59

[re: Ron's quidditch success] Mad with power, Ron declares himself the new ‘chosen one’ and is instantly killed by Voldemort. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @1:05:51

[as Dumbledore, when Harry denies that he fancies Hermione] So you’re cool if I ask her out then? — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @0:41:21

[as Draco] All right. Play it cool. Let everyone leave. Close the door, yes. Curtains down. And DANCE TO GAGA IN MY UNDIES! — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @0:28:31

[as Hedwig to Ginny] Yeah, hi, listen, I’m starving. You got a mouse or somethi— Aaand she’s leaving. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @0:15:21

[Harry packs] Welp, summer with the fat creeps, then back this fall to face another deadly, unspeakable evil! — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @2:05:30

Yep, here’s where the thousands-of-fragile-glass-balls-stacked-precariously-five-stories-high storage method starts to seem a tad impractical. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @1:53:39

[as Harry to Hagrid] Well, sure. Your family’s secret hillbilly shame baby is safe with us. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @1:32:55

[as Filch to Umbridge] Let’s go shake the cat plates off your walls, sweet cheeks. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:58:57

[as Harry, in magic phone booth] Mr. Weasley, we can teleport, right? Your sons did it several times not three minutes ago— [as Arthur] Oh look! Muggle graffiti! — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:20:10

[as Molly Weasley to Harry] In a hilarious turn of events, you’re rooming with Professor Snape. He’s tidy, goes to bed early, and hates rap music. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:13:40

[Gasp] Flickering lights? Only Lord Voldemort could have wired them so shoddily! — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:04:52

[as Olympe] Let’s get the hell out of here, ladies, and back to one of the countless schools Voldemort isn’t obsessed with destroying. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @2:25:34

Neville’s transformation into Oscar Wilde is right on schedule. [laughter] Got a schedule for that, does he? [laughter] Yes. Very rigorous. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @1:33:18

[re: Hogwart's in snow] Eh, sure, it’s pretty. They don’t show you the solid acre of yellow snow around Hagrid’s house. Curse of the animal keeper, I guess. The animals have nothing to do with it. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @1:14:46

[re: Harry has no choice] Okay, do the adults who keep putting on the tournament where kids die have a choice? — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @0:47:17

[as Harry] Ron, I’ve been thinking. What do you put the odds of you having a career once these movies are done? — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @0:40:21

[re: Howart's Express] A train like that ought to have at least one fastidious Belgian detective aboard at all times. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @0:17:56

The collected wizarding world is powerless against six bad guys. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @0:13:42

Do you think Harry gets tired of always being wrong about everything? These movies really prepare kids for married life. Don’t they? — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban @1:52:14

[re: werewolf transformation] Worst strip-o-gram ever. [as Remus] Please don’t look at my were-wang. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban @1:41:45

So, you need parental permission to go to the toffy shop, but for quidditch: the less parents know, the better. — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban @0:57:18

[re: stormy quidditch] Sir! A student’s just been struck by lightning! Should we consider rescheduling the meaningless intramural game? Never! … Perhaps it might be possible to use magic to prevent this! When pigs fly! — Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban @0:56:00