Quotes from Virginia Madsen

In the short story, it was ‘Quayle’ and not ‘Quaid.’ … I don’t imagine anyone would think [US Vice-President] Dan Quayle … was likely to be a secret agent who traveled to Mars and massacred a lot of people. — The Oneliner,
Total Recall @0:12:02

[re: locker room] This would never f***ing happen in a modern movie. It’s like muffapalooza. — Sofa Dogs,
Carrie @0:02:57

[as Imam, to assistants] Cannon! Fodder! Stay away from there! You, go check in the darkness. — Simply Syndicated,
Pitch Black @0:39:12

So if he doesn’t get shot in the gut, then he doesn’t become a timecop. Or if neither one dies, he can become a timecop—then they can be timecop partners. — Podcast Easting Contest,
Timecop @1:24:09

Gee, isn’t it interesting that the president’s wife and Will Smith’s girlfriend have met in this disaster while the president and Will Smith have just met down in Area 51? — Down in Front,
Independence Day @1:25:24

I would love to go to, like, Russia. … I’ve never been a fan of sittin’ on the beach all day. To me, this would be more exciting than just— Well, havin’ these guys with bazookas chasin’ after you … is pretty excitin’. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
The Living Daylights @0:46:14

Wizards just must have a better sex life than muggles, because— Okay, Jen’s back. I was afraid for Jen. [laughter] — PotterFicWeekly,
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 @1:12:42

[Spock's] costume just looks so stupid in this movie. I know. The only costume I really like is McCoy’s … and I guess to a lesser extent— Sulu? Chekhov. … No, Sulu looks like he’s wearing a bathrobe. — TWIG Commentaries,
Star Trek 4 @0:44:47

It uses the Roman numerals. I’d like to go on the record and say, very clearly, that I am against Roman numerals. We didn’t fight World War 2 and defeat the Romans for nothing. — Tysto Commentaries,
Titanic II @0:16:46

If you work it out, it turns out [her daughter] must have died just before Ripley got back. … Maybe she died of the shock. ‘Your mother’s back.’ ‘Oh, crap! I haven’t tidied my room for 57 years!’ — Speakeasy,
Aliens @0:13:30

[Joss Whedon] is just all about the penetration. … Any chance he gets to stake somebody or stab somebody…. [as Joss Whedon] They’re a happy couple. I need to kill one of them! I forgot who I was for a second. — Sofa Dogs,
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog @0:37:19

[as Lucas and Spielberg] We’re gonna give you a crazy, balls-out action sequence for 10 minutes, because we’re gonna talk about bible stories for the next 20 in this movie. — Down in Front,
Raiders of the Lost Ark @0:25:28

What order are you going to show these movies to your kid…? Original versions of 4, 5, and 6. … When they turn 18, it’s their choice … to watch the prequels. But just giving it to them? Pssh. It’s like giving your kids whiskey! — Commentary Track Stars,
Star Wars 5: Empire Strikes Back @0:42:17

[Harpo chases woman] [as director] This scene needs a comedic button to fade out on. [as Harpo] What if it’s rape? [as Director] Let’s do it! Let’s do that! — Low Charisma Party: Mix Tape,
Animal Crackers @0:26:05

Is this, uh, day for night? Naw, never. This is morning for afternoon, I think. It’s breakfast for dinner. — Prognois Negative,
Dr. No @1:16:44

You could’ve cast Arnold Schwarzenegger in this in, say, 1985, and gone whole hog with the slaughtering of the wolves and crows and whatnot. … Schwarzenegger as the Tin Man, I would say—not in the Dorothy role. — Tysto Commentaries,
The Wizard of Oz 1:16:06

[as implanter] I’m going to plant naked images of myself in your brain. Tell me if you like them. Here’s casual me…. Here’s me at Universal Studios next to Shrek. Isn’t he tall? … Ooh, ooh. Here’s me at the beach. — Adudathuda PodBlast,
Aeon Flux @0:39:43

What does the duck represent? Well, the duck connects the two doctors. … We’ll see a duck at the other end, which is the witch doctor. … Ryan’s character refers to this doctor as a ‘quack’. — Soulless Minions,
Joe vs the Volcano @0:16:20

Every time a great movie comes out, Matt says, ‘Three people told me it was horrible.’ But the people you talk to are like your son, your wife, and a lesbian cage fighter. — DVD PodBlast,
Leprechaun @1:27:53

[Batman grabs bomb] Here’s a thought: dump it in the fish tank! — Gotham Knights,
Batman (1966) @1:05:50

Fireball is the one I’d want to fight least. But you could outrun him, with all that heavy equipment. … Flamethrowers are simultaneously the coolest and the stupidest weapon. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
The Running Man

Here we go. ‘There is more that brings us together than divides us.’ Oh yes. So this is the homoerotic subtext that— Homoerotic subtext?! [laughter] Out! Get out! You just ruined the film! — MMM Commentaries,
Heat @2:39:05

That’s one hell of a house, tho. Yeah. If it didn’t have all that creepy-ass history, it would be awesome to live in that house. — Commentary Track Stars,
Psycho (1960) @0:46:15

[regaining consciousness in freefall] I’ve got to say that the amount of nights I’ve gone out and woken up the following morning exactly in this situation— [laughter] Yeah. I’m really p*ssed off with it, actually. — Speakeasy,
Predators @0:03:49

When these fights come up we just stop talking. Because, really, what is there to say that we haven’t said already? … I’m just entertaining myself by pretending that it’s Keenan and Kel that I’m watching do this. — Podtoid,
Mortal Kombat @1:23:04

[Re: reading the book after foot surgery] I hear actually that the book is actually quite boring. At the time, as a ten-year-old child who couldn’t walk and was reading something about boobs, it was quite fascinating. — Speakeasy,
Jaws @0:17:15

[re: barely bridled sensuality] I think it’s been unleashed by Dracula’s naked caress of his fangs on her lovely white neck. For some it’s Count Dracula; for others it’s a few bottles of Boone’s Farm. — Terror Transmission,
Dracula: Prince of Darkness @0:41:21

So wait. So the long-dead, petrified crocodile— … Somehow ate him. Welcome to f***in’ Neverland. [laughter] Neverland will rape your mind. — Down in Front,
Hook @2:09:47

Can I just say—? I’m not covered in mood slime, but I love you guys. Thanks, man. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Ghostbusters 2 @1:35:11

[as Cedric] I’ll help you up because I’m a nice guy. Yeah. He is an all-American boy. Except that he’s not American. … That’s an expression over here in the States, boys and girls. — Pottercast,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire @0:08:52

I guess that kind of blows my whole question about the religious-style names for all the bishops, if one is called Marco. [pause] I guess Mark was one of the apostles. … That’s some nice ret-conning of the Bible and yourself. — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘Flesh and Stone’ @0:48:52

The threat arises from the unknown in this, rather than a direct aggressive threat. Mmm, yes. Except for the mother, who seems to be threatening everyone. — Staggering Stories,
Doctor Who ‘The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe’ @0:34:16

[Doctor's visual recognition system] There you go: ‘Krafayis’, for people who want to know how it’s spelled. Has it got the words ‘DON’T PANIC’ on the front of that? — Cultdom Collective,
Doctor Who ‘Vincent & the Doctor’ @0:18:28

I was so f***ing excited to see the [Fantastic Four] wedding. … They’re gonna have … all these other [Marvel] characters … and they did nothing. … You were calling me a nerd for having NASA stickers on my guitar! — Down in Front,
Hulk @1:13:22

I so want Admiral Piett to be able to escape and to end up in a villa on the shore of the Black Sea or something, like Gorbachev, you know? Retire in comfort. — Tysto Commentaries,
Star Wars 5: The Empire Strikes Back @1:15:53

[as Chewie] I’m not even gonna get a medal am I? You know why? ‘Cause he didn’t do a damn thing! If we’re gonna talk about it, Han flew the thing and shot the lasers. … Chewie was the damn co-pilot! — Down in Front,
Star Wars 4: A New Hope @2:05:45

[re: 'Suddenly Seymour'] Yay! [applauds] Seriously, you feel like the movie could end right there. … They lived happily ever after. Now for act 2. … [as Seymour] ‘Oh, that’s right. There’s that plant that eats people.’ — Down in Front,
Little Shop of Horrors (1986) @1:06:59

Oh, here it is: ‘We can’t read.’ … But no one realized this could possibly be racist. They only look like monkeys, talk like blacks, and have gold teeth—and they can’t read. — Down in Front,
Transformers 2 @1:22:13

No one can kill a dog in a movie and survive. … But the dog is an evil character, and in this film all the evil characters are punished. So the dog has to be punished. … I don’t know if you have to harpoon it. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Dead Calm @1:10:01

This is a good line. ‘I don’t believe it.’ ‘That is why you fail.’ … You walked right into that, Luke. [laughter] The thing that you didn’t see is the next moment, where he facepalms. D’oh! — Speakeasy,
Star Wars 5: The Empire Strikes Back @1:13:15

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