This says [Gemma Arterton] was born with six fingers on each hand. [laughter] Shutup! … Let’s see if we can see it in the movie! … Even if she does—you know what?—that’s hot.
— Bootleg Director,
Prince of Persia @0:31:23
[Chuck's flashes] See, there’s the pie again! What does a Russian—? … Maybe it has to do with America. … The pie is blowing up! He’s gonna destroy America! No, that pie means something. It’s our job to uncover what it is.
— Siskj and friends,
Chuck ‘vs the Intersect’ 0:19:13
They basically unloaded a pile of crap in front of Arnold Schwarzenegger and made him roll around in it. Yeah, and that’s because, the day before, they unloaded $20 million and made him roll around in that.
— Play Cole Productions,
Batman & Robin @0:04:29
[casino credit scene, as Bond] Shall we say, uh, fifty billion dollars? … And can I have it in fifty cent pieces? I like the slots.
— MMM Commentaries,
Licence to Kill @0:59:00
[as Harry, in magic phone booth] Mr. Weasley, we can teleport, right? Your sons did it several times not three minutes ago— [as Arthur] Oh look! Muggle graffiti!
— Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:20:10
[re: Jaime Lannister] If that guy’s not Prince Charming from Shrek, I tell ya, I’m not here.
— MMM Commentaries,
Game of Thrones ‘Winter is Coming’ @0:19:38
What’s the word I’m looking for? … He’s cunning. … That’s the word I’m looking for. … He’s as cunning as a fox who’s just been made Professor of Cunning at Oxford University.
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Darkman @0:31:59
[as Nightowl] Finally, I hook up with this girl. … She immediately goes back to the blue freak. And I just saw his wang, and it’s three times the size of mine. [laughter] And blue, like a raspberry Laffy Taffy.
— Jon Madsen and friends,
The Watchmen @1:55:41
O MY GOD IT’S MOBY DICK AND HE’S EATIN’ A GIANT HELIC— Now, wait a minute. He’s eating a helicopter with the rotor running. That would hurt. You can’t just devour a moving helicopter.
— Tysto Commentaries,
2010: Moby Dick @0:46:10
[as lonely Draco] *sigh* Well, I guess I’ll be non-specifically evil in here for a while.
— Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince @1:10:59
[re: Ollie] You know what? By the end of it, I would hit that. … That little midget dwarf guy there. He is so kind of awesome. … And he looks exactly like my Grandma Helen.
— Down in Front,
The Mist @0:13:43
I think it’s really funny how he was afraid of a light, and then this huge machine comes up behind him, and he doesn’t flinch.
— Pixar Planet Fans,
Mater and the Ghostlight @0:07:25
Why would a shark eat a bridge? [laughter] It’s angry. … Why would it attack that 747 out of the sky? I thought we explained that, Drew. It mistook it for a fish.
— The Oneliner,
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus @0:56:37
Yet again Charles is showing up at her place in the morning. … Look at him walking into her bathroom. It’s called boundaries, dude. [as Charles] ‘I’m just gonna watch you take a shower, make sure you get to work on time.’
— NebCast,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles @0:32:55
Even a guy who’s crazy weird lookin’ like this guy? Yeah? Enough booze, enough misfortune, enough manipulation, I think he could get one night of grief sex. … Don’t work hard. Work smart.
— Terror Transmission,
Mad Love @0:59:37
So, yeah, Joker gets a big entrance. Well, Jack Nicholson is the draw for adults. … That’s right, ’cause comic book movies weren’t yet for adults in 1989. Are comic movies for adults now? Uh, ostensible adults, yes.
— Alan Smithee Podcast,
Batman @0:38:17
Right here: boom. From this moment on, we’re into the new ending. Because Audrey was actually originally killed by the plant. … And this is all a reshoot from here on out.
— Down in Front,
Little Shop of Horrors (1986) @1:21:27
Why would you slap him in the face when you know he may have a neck injury? His f***in’ spine is severed! … Somebody kick him in the nuts!
— Adudathuda PodBlast,
Ghost Rider @0:29:36
[re: John Scott being transparent] This dude still looks better than me without a shirt on.
— Sofa Dogs,
Fringe ‘Pilot’ @0:36:19
Francine Pyne was the hot blonde we just saw. … She looked like a go-go dancer from a Russ Meyer film.
— Tomfoolery & Japery,
Star Trek ‘The Man Trap’ @0:13:03
I so want Admiral Piett to be able to escape and to end up in a villa on the shore of the Black Sea or something, like Gorbachev, you know? Retire in comfort.
— Tysto Commentaries,
Star Wars 5: The Empire Strikes Back @1:15:53
It just struck me how much Kano looks like Billy Mays had sex with the Terminator.
— Podtoid,
Mortal Kombat @0:13:41
It’s a good job, tho, real life isn’t like the movies. Imagine if you tried to get a cab, and it was a choice between Johnny Cab and Benny the Cab? [laughter] It’d be like, ‘Oh, I’ll just walk.’
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? @0:55:17
I don’t think that it’s an issue of Joss Whedon is going, ‘I’ve got this great idea for a movie about a bear that, like, kidnaps a rainbow, and I don’t know how to direct that.’
— Commentary Track Stars and Sofa Dogs,
Cabin in the Woods @0:32:49
I think you’re just dangling bait above Sharktopus now. … But they’ve got a good view. I mean, you should be able spot Sharktopus from— OH MY GOD THERE IT IS OH GAA OH GAAA Oh, she’s been eaten by the Sharktopus!
— Tysto Commentaries,
Sharktopus @0:22:52
What’s the point of a werewolf movie if everyone turns into a werewolf?
— DVD PodBlast,
Cursed @0:26:13
How much is it to rent a tank for a day? Does it come with an AK and a goat? Okay, I’ll take the combo. [laughter] Can I supersize that?
— Movie Blog,
Transformers @:0:20:28
Why does the rover have brake lights?
— Down in Front,
Moon @1:12:23
Notice Ginny wearing flats here, by the way. Get used to that, babe! You married a short man.
— Tysto Commentaries,
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 @1:56:21
Here we go: we’re hearing Yoda’s theme for no discernible reason. … And it’s Anakin Skywalker kicking ass.
— Sonic Cinema,
Star Wars 2: Attack fo the Clones
[as Cyberman in changing room] Do. You. Have. This. In a. Large? It. Does not. Fit.
— Blogtor Who,
Doctor Who ‘Closing Time’ @0:04:01
[re: Snape's difficult questions] Harry should be answering ‘Your mom’ to all these questions.
— Hogwarts Radio,
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone @0:53:45
When I destroyed the Sistine Chapel for Life After People, I fought to not have to split between Adam and God. … But I did. … I also added a Flying Spaghetti Monster right next to God.
— Down in Front,
2012 @1:38:23
[as Jerry] So, I noticed the corpse on the floor. Aria, what’s that about? [as Aria] Uh, he’s just sleepy. He’s been workin’ really hard.
— Sofa Dogs,
Eagle Eye @1:27:53
Yar! Yar! [2h 15m later] Yarr! Oh God, they’re doing it again.
— TWIG Commentaries,
PotC: The Curse of the Black Pearl
What’s also missing from this one is a bit of the black comedy that the original had. … Some people look at it as a response to the Reagan idea of the perfect family and all that sh*t.
— Horror Movie a Day,
The Stepfather @0:47:41
[as Colvin] Yes, yes, very powerful executive woman, meet me at the corner of Weird and Obscure streets. And I’ll be the guy who’s got a whole newspaper folded up over his head— Can we meet under Beau Bridge?
— B-Rating,
Max Payne @0:57:14
Now, picture the scene [of] the two pilots up front. [laughter] They’re just flyin’ the plane, … havin’ a conversation, thinkin’ ‘Where did blondie go? Where’s our nuts? Where’s our hummus? Where’s our Rice Krispie cakes?’
— Blogtor Who,
Torchwood ‘Miracle Day: Rendition’ @0:40:02
Goin’ back to the costume designer. Edith Head! … The woman that won the most Oscars in history for costume design. … For anyone who’s interested in costume design. No, good call, man. It’s all part of the fabric of cinema.
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Rooster Cogburn @1:19:52
It’s not a kids’ film for adults. It’s an adult film for kids.
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? @1:18:13
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