Quotes from Mel Brooks

This is the brightest-lit strip club I’ve ever seen. Yeah. Or read once in a book. — DVD PodBlast,
Blues Brothers 2000 @0:37:48

The more I look at ED-209, it’s like the coolest and stupidest robot that’s ever been put on film. It’s not practical, and it wouldn’t stop crime! How would ED-209 stop a shoplifter? Shoot him with a missile? — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
RoboCop @0:10:30

They all get hit with the cosmic rays and have completely different powers. … Shouldn’t … all four of them … be the Thing? Shouldn’t four Things come out? That sounds like a sitcom. — Play Cole Productions,
Fantastic Four @0:08:50

Crais was never a very good bad guy. Yes he was! He is awesome! He’s too obvious. He’s like, ‘I am the bad guy. … Look at my bad guy beard.’ — Poufwa Exchange,
Farscape 1×01 @0:27:45

[re: hairy Kaji] He is a fire hazard. [laughter] Look at his chest. — Film Sack,
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow @0:59:33

I almost feel like a traitor to meself, tho, saying I don’t like the concept of a flying train, ’cause … flying steam trains, along with mechanical Godzillas— There are certain things that are just awesome. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Back to the Future 3

I think Billie Piper is doing an homage to Tom Baker with that scarf this week. And the pig tails. … You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Tom Baker in pig tails. — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who: ‘Boom Town’

I really think of them as all four personalities of one person, because they’ve all been different parts of me thruout my life. — NebCast,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles @0:13:00

Ahh. Every moment Khan is on the screen, he smolders. — Jon Madsen and friends,
Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan

It would be interesting to meet Jean-Claude Van Damme’s stunt double. Why? … Because he looks just like Van Damme, only you can understand him and he’s a good actor. — Film Sack,
Sudden Death @1:32:16

Martin Campbell came back for Casino Royale. I’d love to call him a good director, but he also did bloody Green Lantern, so I don’t know if he’s a good director or a retard. — MMM Commentaries,
Goldeneye @2:00:51

[as natives] Billy! Did you feed Kong today? [sigh] Jeez, Mom, I did yesterday— Get off your ass, turn off that X-Box, put out the trash, and feed Kong! As soon as I’m 18, … I swear to Kong I’m movin’ out of here. — Two True Freaks,
King Kong (1933) @1:50:05

This is an odd moment where we get Voldemort in a very nice suit. One wonders if Ralph Fiennes didn’t say, ‘Hey, how about if Voldemort appears in a really nice, expensive suit that I can wear to the Oscars later?’ — Tysto Commentaries,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:32:42

I tell ya, if I had a dime for every time this happened to me when I went campin’ with the guys, [laughter] I’d be a rich, rich man. — Film Pigs,
Brokeback Mountain @0:28:15

They dive on the chicken, and I’m convinced that they shot the chicken some other way, ’cause … would they really just risk smooshing a chicken? Well, they probably have chicken handlers. Or, as I like to call them, ‘c*** handlers.’ — Technicolor Commentary,
O Brother, Where Art Thou? @0:10:19

The little touches that [Zack Snyder] added, like … this opening sequence, showing the history of these superheroes, is the best part of the movie. So maybe he should give himself a little more leash. — Jon Madsen and friends,
The Watchmen @0:06:53

This old lady fight is kind of weirding me out. … It’s hot! — Hey, Want to Watch a Movie?,
Willow @2:06:19

There you see Tim Baggaley coming in, a gentleman who genuinely is missing an arm in real life. [other examples] It sounds horrible, but it is the easiest thing to do. … Yeah, to do it digitally would cost an arm and a leg. — Shut Up & Watch This,
Shaun of the Dead @0:43:35

As soon as I saw this movie, I’m kind of looking forward to a sequel, because in the sequel, you could just start right off without having to go thru all these rules. Right? You want a sequel to this already?! — Bootleg Director,
Inception @0:37:43

[love scene] All they’re going to do here is breed a Giganto Yank-Jap. [laughter] Thus paving the way for the sequel: Giganto Yank-Jap vs Megalodon. — The Oneliner,
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus @0:40:51

I’d just like to point out: all of the terrorists are carrying machine guns. Alan Rickman is carrying a Filofax. [laughter] And he manages to make the Filofax more scary than the machine guns. — Speakeasy,
Die Hard @0:27:53

We don’t really have a lot to talk about this movie, do we? No. I’ve only seen it once. I guess it’s so bad that why talk about it when people can just watch it? — Triforce Commentaries,
Street Fighter (1994) @0:26:03

Wait, wait, wait. 1994. This is not a surprise prequel, is it? You’ll see. [multiple voices] Awww! — Death’s Door Prods,
Final Destination 5 @0:35:15

Why doesn’t he have any money? … Maybe Chester Copperpot was hot on the trail of One-Eyed Willy’s treasure because he was absolutely dead broke. [laughs] He was a hobo adventurer. — Tysto Commentaries,
The Goonies @1:08:44

I like that Vasquez could, if the fighting had ended, immediately start a really cool break-dance troupe. … She looks like Shabadoo’s sister. Yeah. … The aliens are trying to shut down the community center! — Cort & Fatboy,
Aliens @0:58:56

This dip truck, I’ve always thought was awesome. They have the dip truck … at Toontown. … Well, that seems just dangerous. [laughter] You can’t just leave that sitting around. — Down in Front,
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? @1:26:00

I always think the voice of the Blank there is quite funny because it reminds me of Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi. … [scratchy voice] ‘Just relax. You’re suffering from hibernation sickness.’ — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Dick Tracy @1:04:18

Did you see how it said no animals or vegetables passed that point? Aaand bam! T-rex is playin’ by its own rules. That’s right. He’ll bring in whatever fruits or vegetables he wants. — TWIG Commentaries,
Lost World: Jurassic Park @1:52:06

I like that his only reaction to chopping up his girlfriend into little bits and pieces is wiping his hands on his jeans. Yeah, that’ll fix everything. — Sofa Dogs,
The Evil Dead @0:51:21

What was that? [As Morpheus] Put on my squid-fighter hat. I love the fact that they’re about to release an EMP and he’s like, ‘Oh, gotta put my beanie on.’ — Down in Front,
The Matrix @1:07:02

Yar! Yar! [2h 15m later] Yarr! Oh God, they’re doing it again. — TWIG Commentaries,
PotC: The Curse of the Black Pearl

I like this, the Frog brothers. They’re all mouth and no trousers. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
The Lost Boys @1:17:45

[fight scene] My art deco lamp! Which we just call a lamp at this time! — Podcast Easting Contest,
Timecop @0:27:47

He found the panic room! [pause] Oh, no. It’s a Panic Room room, loaded with memorabilia from the movie Panic Room. — Rifftrax,
House on Haunted Hill @1:01:10

[as alien leader] Run out there, give them a big bear hug, throw them to the ground, and bite them. That’s what we—the advanced, space-faring species—do. — Down in Front,
Cowboys & Aliens @1:43:29

According to IMDb, it’s the only film in which we don’t see an actual Klingon. I don’t remember any Klingons in Citizen Kane, JR. Or do you just mean Star Trek films? Star Trek films. — Jon Madsen and friends,
Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan

This would make a good double features with Show Girls. Actually, anything would make a good double feature with Show Girls. Anything that involves watching Show Girls. — Film Pigs,
Road House @0:54:51

Wallace Shawn, in this scene, basically sets the precedent for the remainder of his career. … He does angry, high-pitched lisping guy. I’m not sure that’s setting the stage for his career. I think that’s how he talks. — Down in Front,
The Princess Bride @0:38:05

Is it possible for the star of a show to steal every scene he’s in? Possibly. Technically, that shouldn’t be possible, but Matt Smith does it. — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘The Eleventh Hour’ @0:42:08

Here’s a good stereotype: never trust a guy with red eyes. … Or a robe. … Yeah. Obi-Wan Kenobi wears a robe. Yeah but— Well, good point. Checkmate. — ScrewAttack,
Legend of Zelda ‘The Ringer’

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