Quotes from John Cusack

Why exactly does Ron love his rat so much? [laughs] He has an unhealthy relationship with this rat. — Tysto Commentaries,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban @1:35:47

They always give him kids whose names begin with J. And that’s the one letter of the English alphabet that he can’t say. And so, in Commando he’s got ‘Chenny’ … And his little kid in this one is called ‘Chaimey’. — DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Jingle All the Way @0:08:50

[as David] This power wants me to read! … My superpower is to get back to the library in times of great trouble. This book is overdue! — Evil Primate,
Jumper @0:06:48

I want to say—Victor Von Doom: the coolest name ever. … There’s actually a cooler one. Um…. Aunt May? — Play Cole Productions,
Fantastic Four @0:09:30

[Tom Wilkinson] looks like an evil grandpa. An evil grandpa? Yeah. — Camera Eye,
Batman Begins

Bane is still wearing the fedora. … He’s trying to look like Humphrey Bogart in this movie, and it’s just never going to happen. — Play Cole Productions,
Batman & Robin @0:56:30

Coming up is one of my all-time favorite Batman moments: when Bruce looks at the portrait of his parents. … I don’t know why that works so well. … He’s apologizing to a painting of his parents. — DC Commentaries,
Batman TAS ‘Over the Edge’

I’m … interested in the life cycle of this creature. … Does it just lay there … waiting for spacecraft? … As soon as it flew in, I would close my mouth. … It’d just be uncomfortable. You’d probably want to hiccup it up. — Speakeasy,
Star Wars 5: The Empire Strikes Back @0:59:48

Ah, Ultraslime, is there nothing you can’t do in a movie? — Down in Front,
Alien @1:18:26

Real horror … is the absence of something. … If you’re unable to strip something from the audience, … then you’re probably never going to make a really successful … horror film. — Horror Enthusiast,
Friday the 13th (1980) @0:54:31

In any situation in which someone important has died around you, trying kissing them. [laughter] ‘Cause it always seems to work. … It couldn’t hurt. Altho, it may taste kind of weird, depending on what they died of. — Down in Front,
The Matrix @2:11:37

That’s what I love about this film. It kind of mixes Superman and Star Wars and all these different things—everything that was good about the ’80s—all into one film. — Masters of the Universe Chronicles,
Masters of the Universe @0:04:33

Alright, fire of Muspelheim! Gesundheit. — Tysto Commentaries,
Almighty Thor @1:19:34

[re: changing clothes] Watch how much trouble Ron has here. [laughter] … He’s like a chicken! … Well, he’s wet, trying to put a dry shirt on. [laughter] … And Hermione’s like, ‘I’ll put on a blanket.’ Boo! — Pottercast,
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 @0:27:32

How come no one on Doctor Who has an iPhone? … ‘Cause the show would be over in five minutes. … What are the Zygons? [actual Siri] I don’t know what you mean. [laughter] … Not so smart now, are ya, Siri? — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘Day of the Moon’ @0:50:19

Old Jon Favreau, boy. He slimmed down. … In high school or college, he was a champion weight-lifter. … He used to bench-press a ridiculous amount of money. … ‘Amount of money‘? Well, that’s what he does now. He bench-presses money. — Legion of Dudes,
Iron Man @0:21:38

I wish Burt Reynolds was playing Jesus. … Or Jesus was a police detective. … You’re off the case, Jesus! You’re a loose cannon, Jesus! Jesus, you’re too close to this case! — Film Pigs,
The Passion of the Christ @0:26:03

Here we go, what Trev called the ‘rodeo potato.’ I think it looks like a tick. — MMM Commentaries,
Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones @0:47:27

The amount of freckles here is probably higher than any other film I can think of. — Tysto Commentaries,
The Fifth Element 1:14:10

[Chuck's flashes] See, there’s the pie again! What does a Russian—? … Maybe it has to do with America. … The pie is blowing up! He’s gonna destroy America! No, that pie means something. It’s our job to uncover what it is. — Siskj and friends,
Chuck ‘vs the Intersect’ 0:19:13

[noise over Skype call] I’m not even gonna ask what that sound was. That sounded like a snore. Yeah, somebody’s nodded off. You can’t nod off during this scene, come on! … [snoring] [laughter] — Hey, Want to Watch a Movie?,
The Blues Brothers

Uh, dudes, I’m likin’ this movie. … Give it some time, Darren. — Adudathuda PodBlast,
Bad Boys II

Why would he let her go? Humphrey Bogart wouldn’t let her go. … Why does she even need to fly anywhere? Because every single human being in that operation is dead. — Tysto Commentaries,
Raw Deal @1:44:03

So these people know that Voldemort is an evil dude who is around, and he wants to wipe out everyone on earth. … So they’re just gonna sit around and do nothing? — Sidetracked,
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 1 @0:39:33

[re: Indy's later war service] Why didn’t Indiana Jones [say], ‘Okay, long story short: I know you guys have a box that melts Nazis. [Laughter] Just get that out of storage. We’ll end this real fast.’ — Down in Front,
Raiders of the Lost Ark @0:55:00

‘You should not drink and bake.’ That is probably [laughs] now—now—that is now my favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger one-liner. And he didn’t even kill her! — Tysto Commentaries,
Raw Deal @0:17:01

Mind you, among my favorite Colin Baker stories is ‘Attack of the Cybermen.’ So what do I know? … I love ‘Attack of the Cybermen,’ and it is pretty terrible, when you actually think about it. But don’t think about it, and it’s great. — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who: Monster of Peladon p2 @0:57:48

[shirtless Cage] Uh, do you have tickets to the gun show…? Which way is the beach, Nick? … Should he find a veterinarian soon? Why is that? ‘Cause those puppies are so sick. — Adudathuda PodBlast,
Ghost Rider @1:16:14

Teachers following students home, wandering around in the dark looking for them…. What would the Home Secretary say? — MMM Commentaries,
Doctor Who ‘An Unearthly Child’

John Lone’s just raping her with his eyes at this point. [laughter] He does that to everyone. — Pulp Nightmare,
The Shadow @1:01:56

That’s the best shot of all time. … It’s Barry Bostwick on a Zodiac, going 30 miles an hour, with a 7-foot gun, screaming at a giant whale. What more do you want?! — Down in Front,
2010: Moby Dick @1:28:07

We said this in our movie review months ago: very Kirby in Asgard, very Straczynski on Earth. — Legion of Dudes,
Thor @1:54:09

[re: huge action movies] People [will] see it in theaters. … Unless you have a really expensive home theater system, which in eastern Kentucky they don’t allow us. … They’re confiscated with our toothpaste. … And our deodorant. — Deadpit Radio,
Terminator 2 @1:06:01

Isn’t awesome to imagine that somewhere in this universe, Arnold Schwarzenegger is a scientist? — Pulp Nightmare,
Batman Forever @1:21:34

Just a note about Karloff’s outfit here—he looks like he could be in an early ’80s new wave band. [laughter] The snaps on the side… He would fit in with Gary Newman. I hear you there. — Terror Transmission,
The Black Cat @0:35:56

The iconic line is … ‘Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it,’ which if anything states the theme of the movie, that’s the theme. — Down in Front,
Unforgiven @1:49:43

You know what would be awesome? Jesus, if he was alive today, he could have the best Vegas show ever. He could. … Jesus on the Vegas Strip! — Film Pigs,
The Passion of the Christ @0:13:01

They’re singular sheets of paper, because if they were envelopes, they wouldn’t fly like that. Oh, they are, aren’t they? … I never noticed that before! — Potter Pensieve,
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone @0:20:08

By the way, that’s not possible. … It’s one thing to have a gun shoot too many bullets. … But every kid in the world knows that you can’t just flatten a tire by taking the cap off the inflation stubs. — Tysto Commentaries,
The Goonies @0:23:37

I was in the musical Pippin at my college…, and I looked just like him, ’cause I was wearing a white unitard, and I’m a little heavy. It went from my belly to my knees. I looked like the Penguin in that show. — Adudathuda PodBlast,
Batman Returns @0:53:14

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