[Morpheus] says ‘No one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.’ So now it’s like, ‘Let me spend the next 20 minutes telling you what the Matrix is.’
— Tysto and Sofa Dogs,
The Matrix @0:44:14
By today’s scale of movie, this is like a baby’s movie. … Try to imagine Michael Bay’s Back to the Future. Oh! No! Get it out of my brain! [as Bay] ‘You cut the nuclear bomb? That’s back in, baby!’
— Down in Front,
Back to the Future @1:46:54
Still dark. Saved a lot of money on lighting, this show. You’d think it would have been a bargain; Fox would have kept it on longer.
— Tysto Commentaries,
Firefly ‘Ariel’ @0:15:37
That is definitely not a ‘naval air laboratory.’ [laughter] I know a disused mine when I see one.
— The Oneliner,
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus @0:37:00
When I first heard Bernie Mac was in this film: rolled my eyes. Yeah, me too. But we get just, not too big, not too little a dose. … Kind of like wasabi: just the right amount, and it’s good. Yeah. Or the Irish.
— Movie Blog,
Transformers @:0:13:14
They spent a lot of time introducing and making it very clear that this game is sexual in nature, and now— She’s tryin’ to get her son to do it. … This is not okay.
— Soulless Minions & CTS,
Star Trek TNG ‘The Game’ @0:23:27
It makes you proud to be American, this film. Obviously, I’m being facetious. But, … they’ll play the American national anthem, and I’ll always be tempted to stand up and start saluting. And then you realize, oh, no, I’m not American.
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Firefox @1:44:33
We’re also doing something different this time, Chris, in that … you’ve never even seen this movie before. I saw— I saw it back when it was called Conan the Barbarian.
— Gymkommentary,
The Scorpion King @0:03:17
That’s a line you wouldn’t get in an American show. No, you wouldn’t. You don’t run into a room and yell out, ‘I need a packed lunch!’
— Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘Silence in the Library’
She just did try to give a sort-of theme. She’s like, ‘When we’re here, nobody takes a risk for anyone else.’ It’s like, ‘Oh! Oh! You’re trying to cue us! Do more of that!”
— Down in Front,
Sucker Punch @0:59:36
[re: Monster Book of Monsters] Ah, I know what it is now. I’m afraid to ask. It’s a collection of biting satire. [sigh]
— Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban @0:17:16
[re: gas tank] Watching this, you’d just love to see Michael Myers go up against Jaws. There’d be a good Universal thing there. Paul WS Anderson could definitely write that.
— Alan Smithee Podcast,
Halloween 2 @1:26:53
[as Vader, blocking Han's shots] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me just take that. That really hurt.
— AfterShock Commentaries,
Star Wars 5: Empire Strikes Back @1:34:58
Michael Myers looks to me like a … grumpy, frumpy, old man. George Wilber … played him in 4, and they asked him to come back for 6. … The physicality just wasn’t there.
— Icons of Fright,
Halloween 6 @0:44:30
Do you know [James Arness has] got a famous brother? … Have you ever seen the movie Airplane? Peter Graves? Yeah. That’s his brother. Get outa here! No way! Does he like gladiator movies?
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Thing from Another World @0:56:45
Freddie Jones, of course, has had somewhat of a career, but the other guys— Just gone. They just disappeared.
— Double D,
Young Sherlock Holmes @1:16:05
I’d like to know where the Joker got overnight embroidery done for his goons’ jackets. … Do you go to the store where they make embroideries and say, ‘Can you make it look exactly like my weird, deformed face?’
— TWIG Commentaries,
Batman @0:47:10
‘Zagreb.’ Yeah, the capital of— Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? It’s the capital of… Florida? That’s it. You got it. Nailed it. If you rearrange the letters, it says ‘Goblin’.
— Prognosis Negative,
From Russia With Love @1:18:33
What is the substance that powers the Enterprise? Hopes and dreams? No. William Shatner’s unchecked ego? No. Farts? No. Any more guesses? Children’s screams? The answer is: White Castle hamburgers.
— Gymkommentary,
Star Trek: The Motion Picture @0:28:28
There’s bits I object to— [shower scene] This part right here? No, this is fine. This is Will Smith posing for his statue when they finally dedicate Los Angeles to him.
— Tysto & Speakeasy,
I, Robot @0:03:31
The guns I can kind of understand. I’m not quite sure about the flamethrower. [laughter] … And they’ve got two of them!
— Tysto & Speakeasy,
The Thing @1:15:32
Now, this is a room that seals itself. … How can they breathe? … The oxygen is provided by that yellow chair. Okay.
— Blogtor Who,
Doctor Who ‘Day of the Moon’ @0:05:49
My chick-magnet handle was ‘Ultimate Warrior.’ … When I was on a CB, my chick-magnet handle was ‘Uncle Bulgaria.’ Oh? [laughter] Because, … in my friend’s house, he had a Wombles poster on his wall.
— DVDCommentaries.co.uk,
Smokey & the Bandit 2 @0:38:17
This movie is Michael Bay times David Lynch, divided by Brazil, minus a third act.
— Down in Front,
Sucker Punch @0:03:42
The mellow clarinet solo adds to the terror. [laughter] Man, I’ve seen zombies mount better attacks than this one.
— Rifftrax,
Plan 9 from Outer Space @0:33:18
I like it how our anti-hero and the aliens are both hurt by light. Yeah. Yeah, they’re kin. Mmmm, good word.
— Simply Syndicated,
Pitch Black @1:03:26
I thought, ‘Oh, she’s pregnant!’ From kissing? … You don’t understand how it works, Stephen. … I don’t think you understand how it works. … His tonsils are his testicles. … Tonsticles!
— Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘A Christmas Carol’ @1:00:19
And so the whole zombie apocalypse helped Shaun to be a better man. Which is why you tell a story. … The ultimate point of a story is ‘Here’s how to be a human being.’ … For good or ill—’cause sometimes it goes bad.
— Down in Front,
Shaun of the Dead @1:43:38
There was an article in Maxim magazine. … The total cost to be Batman with all of his gear [was] $2.86 million. … If we win the lottery, … I’ll be Bruce Wayne, and you can be Batman. Or you can be a really fat Robin.
— TWIG Commentaries,
Batman @1:19:29
Renny Harlin loves snowy action. He did Cliffhanger, right? Why wouldn’t he? Isn’t he Finnish or something? Swedish? Or Norwegian. He’s actually an abominable snowman. He’s a yeti.
— Film Pigs,
Die Hard 2 @1:30:14
We could spend the entirety of this movie doing really in-depth film analysis. … But I thought, instead of that, we should talk about possible sequels and animated series adaptations.
— Commentary Track Stars,
Citizen Kane @0:12:32
Another pet thing of Russell T Davies … is the atheist agenda. ‘Cause religion is obviously irrational. It’s a matter of the heart rather than the head. And you might as well go the whole way and chop your brain off.
— Impossible Podcasts,
Doctor Who ‘A Good Man Goes to War’ @0:09:55
Jackie Chan was within inches of those moving helicopter blades, and it sliced the hat right off his head.
— Hurricane Andy,
First Strike @0:21:25
I’m surprised Esther didn’t contact the police about potential date rape. Yes! [as Esther] I can’t remember where I was last night, and woke up with bruises all down one side.
— Impossible Podcasts,
Torchwood ‘Miracle Day 01’ @0:41:18
[as Michael] Dad, um, I don’t know much about various subcultures, but is he what you guys would refer to as a ‘bear’?
— TATANS,
Over the Top @0:19:00
Why do people in Diagon Alley dress like they’re characters in a Dickens novel? This is just the Dickensian district. It’s a tourist thing, like Colonial Williamsburg.
— Rifftrax,
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone @0:22:44
Did [Harry] win the Triwizard Tournament? … I say, based on the way the school is run, yes. They would go, ‘Cedric Diggory is now disqualified because he is dead.’
— Tysto Commentaries,
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix @0:39:50
I think that screaming corpse may have been the moment that my grandmother regretted her decision to bring me to this movie.
— Spoilers Podcast,
Raiders of the Lost Ark @0:08:42
There’s Iva in the car, stalking him like a crazy woman. [laughs] Her husband has just been murdered and she’s stalking his partner, her ex-boyfriend. Boy, that’s a tragic character.
— Tysto Commentaries,
The Maltese Falcon @0:34:33
I like the essential message here, which is that old people cannot be trusted.
— Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘Amy’s Choice’ @0:42:31
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