Quotes from Billy Zane

Just imagine Humphrey Bogart living to be 80 and doing movies into his late 70s, if he had been like John Huston. What a strange world that would be. … Is there a place for Humphrey Bogart in Chinatown with John Huston? — Tysto Commentaries,
The Maltese Falcon @0:15:36

I can’t wait for the episode where we find out the gap between her teeth is actually a portal to another dimension. I think the cliffhanger … will be having to seal the gap in her teeth to stop the Cybermen from coming thru. — Tachyon TV,
Torchwood ‘Cyberwoman’

Somebody actually bothered to count the number of times they say the f-word, and it tops out at 225. That sounds like a decent number. Which I think boiled down to 10 minutes of screen time. — Sofa Dogs,
True Romance @0:03:33

‘The person who beat her overdosed on steroids’? What fencer takes steroids? — Renegade Commentaries,
Die Another Day @0:51:26

[credits] ‘“Roxanne” by S Sting.’ What does the S stand for? His real name is ‘Gordon Sumner’. What does the S stand for? … Is his first name also ‘Sting’? — Tysto Commentaries,
48 Hrs. @1:36:17

I really want to be a Velma guy, but I am totally a Daphne guy instead. — Tysto Commentaries,
Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island @1:10:16

That’s some pretty sheep. It’d be cool if this was a movie about a cowboy and a sheep. It would. And a love triangle. … You know what that movie would be called? Ewe Complete Me. — Film Pigs,
Brokeback Mountain @0:09:28

The mayor apparently only has two suits: one that doubles as his bed sheets and this. … Are those little anchors on his suit? … Yes. … That’s a meta f***in’ gold-ass Halloween costume. — Film Fever Radio,
Jaws @0:55:23

I can’t really think of a Bruckheimer-style movie where they’ve had the psychic character. That would be awesome if they threw that in. — Down in Front,
Team America: World Police @0:35:15

This computer that he’s going to be hacking the alien mother ship with would have been running … System 7.5. The new features … included drag-and-drop, TrueType fonts, and color—on available systems. It was a magical time. — Down in Front,
Independence Day @0:43:58

This guy was so shockingly cool for a computer hacker at the time. … He’s well dressed. He doesn’t have glasses taped together. He’s talking about sports. … He seems to be a full human being who probably has touched a woman. — Down in Front,
Die Hard @0:23:45

So, if they did send all the Aplanders back in time, … they can just carry on with their lives and have more children, who would then be in the present again. Unless they get to a point where they’re continually sent in the past. — Staggering Stories,
Doctor Who ‘Time of Angels’ @0:17:00

I think the Hovitos come in and do maintenance on [the booby traps]. … At the end of the day, they come in and they reset everything. … [as Hovito] Oh, my god… Another American got full o’ darts. — Down in Front,
Raiders of the Lost Ark @0:16:48

[final words] If I can have you look right here for a second…. What is that? [sound effect] … You know what we should do sometime? Men in Black. — Down in Front,
Men in Black @1:47:01

♪♫Jennings is back! Jennings is back!♪♫ And now the film goes from being fun to being awesome! — Shut Up & Watch This,
Howard the Duck @1:00:38

[Beverly searches Howard's wallet] Ewww! It’s not even in a package! [laughter] Loose duck condoms! Horrible. — Junk Food Dinner,
Howard the Duck @0:25:42

Not too many people know this, but Ozone actually served in the Civil War. That’s where he got that hat. It was at the Battle of Antietam. He actually popped and locked his way to victory. Four score and seven boogies ago…. — Gymkommentary,
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo @0:21:11

This says [Gemma Arterton] was born with six fingers on each hand. [laughter] Shutup! … Let’s see if we can see it in the movie! … Even if she does—you know what?—that’s hot. — Bootleg Director,
Prince of Persia @0:31:23

[re: John Scott being transparent] This dude still looks better than me without a shirt on. — Sofa Dogs,
Fringe ‘Pilot’ @0:36:19

There was no country club anywhere close to that lighthouse. … None of this made any sense to me even as a kid: shaking the pipes would make all this crazy stuff happen. Just shouting, ‘Reverse pressure!’ doesn’t cut it. — Tysto Commentaries,
The Goonies @0:50:37

Put youself in this situation. Say you were her. … I’d just immediately fall in love with that duck. So you wouldn’t assume … he was a pervert dwarf in a costume? … No, I would have assumed he was. … That would have turned me on. — Speakeasy,
Howard the Duck @0:13:48

The resolution … comes out of something esoteric like faith. Last week, we had Amy thinking herself into the same time zone. The week before that, we had the boy’s love solving the situation. It’s all a bit magical for my liking. — Blogtor Who,
Doctor Who ‘God Complex’ @0:25:29

Here we have the SWAT team … moving in on this f***ing kid. What were they expecting this 8-year-old child to be armed with? … Surely they could entice him out with Barney the Dinosaur. — Renegade Commentaries,
Hackers

I’d just like to point out: all of the terrorists are carrying machine guns. Alan Rickman is carrying a Filofax. [laughter] And he manages to make the Filofax more scary than the machine guns. — Speakeasy,
Die Hard @0:27:53

‘Filby.’ A very unfortunate name for an English hero, Filby. … ‘How’s your son?’ ‘Oh good. He’s thinking of joining the British Intelligence.’ [laughter] ‘And he’s a homosexual.’ — MMM Commentaries,
The Time Machine @0:16:13

Coming up is one of my all-time favorite Batman moments: when Bruce looks at the portrait of his parents. … I don’t know why that works so well. … He’s apologizing to a painting of his parents. — DC Commentaries,
Batman TAS ‘Over the Edge’

So Michael Myers is 21 now. So he’s old enough to drink. … He clearly went to the bar. … [as Michael] I’m gonna fill up on root beer schnapps and Beer Nuts before I [kill some people]. — Sofa Dogs,
Halloween @0:59:47

Do you know why [the baby is] computer generated? … Russel T Davies is actually scared of babies. [laughter] I didn’t know that! … He’s got babyphobia? — Blogtor Who,
Torchwood ‘Miracle Day: The New World’ @0:07:03

I love this music. That’s groovy music. Groovy chase music. … Groovy Doctor-gets-down-to-the-bottom-of-things music. — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘Army of Ghosts’ @0:04:51

My brain puts a shot into the movie that’s not in the movie. … I want there to be a shot of the alien queen in the elevator with elevator music in the background. — Commentary Track Stars,
Aliens @2:11:54

That is a fine picture of himself behind him. … I had a professor … who actually had a picture of himself on his desk. … And he was midget too. … I detected … a bit of hubris that was making up for a couple of things. — Radio Free Skaro,
Doctor Who ‘Dalek’ @ 0:56:37

Kern Avenue and Vernon Avenue. Are those Los Angeles roads? They are. That’s down south of downtown. … It’s in the LA River and bridges zone. … Graffiti district. — Down in Front,
Seven @1:47:07

That’s a heck of a train wreck. … They did a really job with the up-turned car and everything. No CG there. — Terror Transmission,
Mad Love @0:51:38

Aw! She broke the fourth wall! … She should have just winked at said, ‘Back at Christmas!’ ‘See ya soon, guys.’ — Blogtor Who,
Doctor Who ‘Asylum of the Daleks’ @0:45:49

I really have a problem with Morpheus’ attitude. … ‘Don’t ask me for reasons, because you’ll find out I have none.’ … Morpheus is basically an analog for the Wachowskis. [long pause] Wow. Whoa. — Down in Front,
The Matrix Reloaded @0:10:38

It there a word that goes beyond ‘daffy’? … I want something horrible to happen just for punctuation. — Film Thugs,
Hausu @0:20:03

If you wanted to crank up the camp, … you could have the monster telling Frankenstein, ‘Now, you shall make me a son! Cobble together the various body parts of babies and make me a child! — Tysto Commentaries,
Son of Frankenstein @1:08:12

Devon Aoki’s hot. Devon Aoki’s not hot! Why do people think that? … Devon Aoki looks like the creature from Mac and Me. Dude, he scared the sh** out of me when I was a kid. — Evil Primate,
DEBS

[re: Black Knight] This is like Sam Peckinpah on steroids, the amount of blood their using. — Film Grok,
Monty Python and the Holy Grail @0:22:14

Maybe it would have been more interesting if we had not seen Hard Harry at all— Yes, if we’re in on the mystery as well. … It plays a lot stronger, at least for the first act, if we didn’t know … who he was. — Frank Farina and Soulless Minions,
Pump up the Volume @0:16:03

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