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    2010: Moby Dick

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    From Tysto commentaries:

    Barry Bostwick and Renée O’Connor team up to hunt down a gigantic whale somewhere in the south seas in this 2010 tale of a man, a whale, and a dream of killing that whale. Watch with me as I:

    * Watch it for the first time
    * Compare it extensively to the original Herman Melville novel (it’s about a guy hunting a whale)
    * Pick apart the intricacies of the plot (guy hunts whale, whale tries to eat aircraft in peace)
    * Analyze the symbolism (leg = penis; whale = thing that eats penises)
    * Get my 1978 Battlestar Galactica references all wrong (Starbuck = Apollo, Cassiopeia = Serina, robot dog = son, “biddi-biddi-biddi” = Twiki from Buck Rogers)
    * Review whale biology (female whales have udders, right?)
    * Never, ever compare it to Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, which this is better than

    I praise the sets, CGI, directing, and acting—where appropriate (I’m lookin’ at you, guy-with-the-blank-stare-of-a-cow). And I complain that everything is lit like an Italian restaurant. Enjoy!

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    Some very noirish lighting choices here. … I can barely see anything in the submarine. I mean, there’s noir and then there’s chiaroscuro. — Tysto Commentaries,
    2010: Moby Dick @0:04:52

    We have now exhausted my knowledge of the novel, other than that it is a thousand pages long, and it’s badly written. And it did not involve any bikinis whatsoever. — Tysto Commentaries,
    2010: Moby Dick @0:10:55

    O MY GOD IT’S MOBY DICK AND HE’S EATIN’ A GIANT HELIC— Now, wait a minute. He’s eating a helicopter with the rotor running. That would hurt. You can’t just devour a moving helicopter. — Tysto Commentaries,
    2010: Moby Dick @0:46:10

    I’m completely on Ahab’s side. [laughs] We have got to kill that whale. Don’t you see?! It is an air-breathing animal. It could crawl up on shore and devour an entire town if it wanted to. — Tysto Commentaries,
    2010: Moby Dick @0:47:10

    How do you know it’s a male whale? … Well, obviously, if it was a whale cow, … it would have a big udder. I’m pretty sure that’s how whale anatomy works. — Tysto Commentaries,
    2010: Moby Dick @0:52:49

    That whale has crawled up on the land and is going to jump on you from the top of the cliff. [1.5 minutes later] He’s coming up over the cliff just like I predicted! … Why will no one listen to my crazy ideas?! — Tysto Commentaries,
    2010: Moby Dick @1:14:22