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    Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

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    From Rifftrax:

    The most adorable pirates you’ve ever seen take to the high seas to do battle with an army of walking skeletons to see who is thinner. With a team consisting of Keira Knightley, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom they can’t possibly lose! Geoffrey Rush gives it his all — that is he does his best impression of the pirate mascot standing outside the Long John Silver’s at a strip mall in Oakbrook, Illinois, and respected actor Jonathan Pryce as the girlish British governor risks being stripped of the descriptive “respected”.

    Mike, Kevin and Bill strap on the cutlasses and swing away!

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    [as young Elizabeth] I’m so jealous of Daddy’s thick, rich, brunette curls. — Rifftrax,
    PotC: Curse of the Black Pearl @0:04:35

    [Jack Sparrow’s] walk is John Wayne plus Carol Channing, divided by Daffy Duck. — Rifftrax,
    PotC: Curse of the Black Pearl @0:14:19

    When you run someone thru with a sword, Mike, … does it really sound like thrusting the wrong end of a hockey stick into a large tank of soft-shelled crabs? Exactly like that, yes. — Rifftrax,
    PotC: Curse of the Black Pearl @0:34:02