You Only Live Twice

From Tysto commentaries:

Bond is back again and Connery plays him, this time as a humble Japanese fisherman with a “yen” for smoked salmon. (Get it!?) Ah, but the mysterious Osato Corporation has it out for him and will surely do him in if they ever get their miserable act together and if they aren’t foiled by a girl. I examine the overall plan of Spectre, the specifics of that plan, the lack of a plan by Bond, and the awesomeness of ninjas and secret volcano lairs.

I mock the color-coded uniforms of Blofeld’s men, the awkwardness of the gadgets in Aki’s sweet Toyota 2000 sports car, the incredible convenience of certain plot twists, and the absurd unlikelihood of building a rocket base in a hollowed-out volcano with no one noticing. The film mocks me by serving up ninjas attacking a rocket base in a hollowed out volcano with no #@*&$ CGI. I mistakenly say that in the novel “Suki” tries to keep Bond and gets pregnant by him, but her name is “Kissy”. “Suki” is the original name for film’s character “Aki”, who doesn’t appear in the novel. Also, in keeping with the film’s rating, I bleep myself a couple of times.

Note: this was recorded with a headset instead of my usual microphone, so the quality is a little lower than usual.

Start the commentary with the gun barrel sequence, on the countdown. (56 MB)

Bond is up against his own ignorance. That’s the real villain. … He’s flailing around in the dark, hoping that people will try to kill him so that he can get one step closer to the guy who’s actually ordering people to kill him. — Tysto Commentaries,
You Only Live Twice @0:26:01

I love the idea that these guys are shocked that Blofeld wants more money. … He should just go, ‘Look at this place. I live in a [bleep] hollowed-out volcano. Do you have any idea how much it costs to heat this place?’ — Tysto Commentaries,
You Only Live Twice @1:08:24

I love that Bond’s first aid consists of saying her name. That’s it. [as Bond] I’m not gonna try, you know, artificial respiration or CPR. Anything like that. — Tysto Commentaries,
You Only Live Twice @1:17:11

I love these two guys dressed as ketchup and mustard. … Here we get some more ketchup and mustard guys—and some mayonnaise guys too. … Apparently the mayonnaise guys are in charge of security. — Tysto Commentaries,
You Only Live Twice @1:34:24

Bond faked his death … at the beginning of the movie. And then he faked his death in the middle of the movie. So he clearly has three lives just in this movie. — Tysto Commentaries,
You Only Live Twice @1:40:08