Right now, he’s out there. Watching, waiting. Don’t look… he’ll see you. Don’t move… he’ll hear you. Don’t breathe… just listen carefully as Matt and Jason give it to you straight at their fireside chat on 1981′s The Burning. Deep in the forest, you’ll hear the cries of film details, the glut of camping murder movies, pot deal refunds, IMDB idiocy, Matt’s love of ice princesses, summer camp memories, the horrors of terrycloth, the misunderstood Cropsy and other revenge on those meddling kids. So, are you in? Because, if not… YOU’RE DEAD!

Right now, he’s out there. Watching, waiting. Don’t look… he’ll see you. Don’t move… he’ll hear you. Don’t breathe… just listen carefully as Matt and Jason give it to you straight at their fireside chat on 1981′s The Burning. Deep in the forest, you’ll hear the cries of film details, the glut of camping murder movies, pot deal refunds, IMDB idiocy, Matt’s love of ice princesses, summer camp memories, the horrors of terrycloth, the misunderstood Cropsy and other revenge on those meddling kids. So, are you in? Because, if not… YOU’RE DEAD!

The funeral is about to begin. Never mind the scurrying creatures and flying weaponized spheres. Just bow your head and hang on tight as Matt and Jason open the portal to 1979′s Phantasm. You might think that when you die, you go to Heaven, but you’ll actually come to us for movie trivia, ’70s dirtbag guys, why modern cars suck, Matt’s intentionally bad French, hair helmets, bachelorette parties gone wild, dwarf vs. midget vs. little person, unisex names, and other things that are little, brown and low to the ground. It’s definitely going to be a hot time. Hot as love. You know?

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Sometimes, you just have to get your lovin’ where you can. And Matt and Jason really get out their grave digging shovels for 1964′s The Tomb of Ligeia. Prepare for a mindless sort of madness as your handsome hosts exhume movie background, natural lighting for home porn, British horses, death and resurrection, May-December relationships, Jason’s necrophiliac desires, Matt’s favorite Dr. Who, sexy pale girls, drinking breast milk and other things that make you go meow. Just don’t look into their eyes. They will confound you!

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Teleportation can have some odd side effects. You might start sprouting strange hairs or even acquire the ability to climb all over the walls. If these and other symptoms persist, you should listen immediately to our helpful commentary on 1986′s The Fly. Although your handsome hosts are not actual scientists, they will professionally guide you through film facts, improbable user interfaces in cinema, Jason’s magical journey through someone else’s beard, post-coital decorum, judging hairstyles, science over belief, the BrundleFly / Michael Jackson connection, Matt trying J&B for the first time and other means by which to make your flesh crazy. So, take a deep penetrating dive into our plasma pool, and we’ll see you on the other side.

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Everybody needs some change now and again, to get away from it all and become someone else. Or… something else. So, enter the disintegration chamber and your handsome hosts will see you on the other end with their recombinant commentary for 1958′s The Fly. Sometimes you have to destroy in order to create, and Matt and Jason do their share of breaking down movie background, math wizards, dumb horror podcasts, the perils of Canadian French, heavy metal facelifts, the hotness of crying girls, repressed ’50s housewives, tips for finding sex entertainment in Quebec, post-1985 James Bond hate, and other questionable experiments. But, don’t worry. They wouldn’t harm anything… not even a fly.

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Spirits surround you on every side. Murder is in the air. And the mesmerizing voices of Matt and Jason cannot be resisted as you slowly open the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. You’ll find yourself in a hypnotic haze as you silently spiral into 1920 to witness movie facts, the Siegfried Steamer, those fun-loving Germans, the secret hidey-hole, Jason’s love of silent film gals, Matt’s use of “comely”, semi-consensual roleplaying, Hitler, the death of cursive writing, hotel Bible destruction, and other plots of doom. But, don’t ask us for more. You wouldn’t like to know your fate.

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Buongiorno, Demoni del Terrore! Step into the parlor and let Matt and Jason make you a nice pizza pie… along with a special vino just for you: Deep Red, vintage 1975. After a few bottles, you might feel a bit woozy, so lie down in the back of the Ferrari as your handsome hosts take you for a ride through movie background, loads of giallo film recommendations, Italian gender-bending, the power of J&B scotch, the glory of unfettered breasts, the beauty of cinematic death, the creepiness of puppets, Jason’s fear of little girls, arguments about pajamas, Matt’s spontaneous desire to solve crimes and other means by which to smash faces of pretty girls into glass. Que bella!

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Have you ever been bored? Not merely restless and unoccupied, but really, REALLY bored? Bored enough to… slaughter a bunch of hapless virgins and bathe in their blood? If so, then do we have an episode for you! That’s right, heave up that cleavage and hoist your drink to eternal youth as Matt and Jason bring you the sanguinary story of 1971′s Countess Dracula. Sure, there isn’t a vampire to be found, but that shouldn’t stop you from suckling the teat of movie background, female serial killers, magic Dio ashes, the Eric Roberts lookalike, Ingrid’s Nazi tales, gay reindeer, an extensive look at the Bathory tale, the Ingrid Pitt / Peter Criss Connection, learning diversity from Benny Hill, the smell from the DVD room and other questionable fluids. And if your handsome hosts disappear, remember… try the whorehouse!

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Nazarene charlatan, what can you offer humanity? Certainly not the greatest horror commentary podcast… EVER! And where he has failed, Matt and Jason deliver with their utterly blasphemous commentary on 1981′s The Final Conflict. So, sit back and let your handsome hosts show you the raptures of their kingdom through movie facts, feeling the spirit, Bud Dwyer, Reagan and the Fundies, Christian hypocrisy, the enjoyment of power, Jason’s fascination with twins, bad girls, failed prophecies and other trivial lusts and perversions. Disciples of the Watch… do you HEAR US!

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Is it real… or all make believe? People say that a lot about Matt and Jason but you might also place the burden of that question upon this episode’s movie, 1935′s Mark of the Vampire. With white faces and burning eyes, your handsome hosts occasionally interrupt their drinking to bring you film background, eating stale gingerbread houses, Hollywood orgies, completely unrelated movies, hissing in film, anger for the end of this flick, the attraction of villainy and more deadly cold breath on your throat. It might not end the way you think but it’ll still be the hilariously debauched hell ride you crave.

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Achtung, Terror Fiends! Run for the attic because your handsome hosts are goose-stepping their way into all things verboten with their commentary on the 1977 Nazi zombie classic, Shock Waves. Your food supply might be running out but there’s plenty of Matt and Jason to go around as they dictate movie details, perverted New Year’s resolutions, “flapjacks”, time travel shenanigans, the 3/4 Rule, Unterseezombies, and extensive discussion on Nazi interest in the occult, plus a special announcement or two and listener e-mail. Frohes neues Jahr!

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How can you keep two handsome hosts of a horror commentary podcast from turning into a thousand ugly monsters? First, don’t pour cheap liquor onto (or into) them. Second, make sure they can’t record at night and away from all sunlight. And, third, stop them from feeding after midnight upon 1984′s Gremlins. Well, okay, you really can’t stop them so you might as well stand aside and let them make a mess of movie details, teen rebel memories, Jason’s hatred for Aretha Franklin and shoulder pads, Matt’s comparison of Gremlins to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, plenty of Phoebe Cates worship, burlesque bosoms, Richie Rich, the glorious greed of Christmas, horror in malls, Gizmo the Ladies’ Man and other adorable cries from the ornate Chinese box. So, listen in or we’ll stuff your dead dad down the chimney in a Santa suit.

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Imagine someone coming towards you… who wants to kill you… regardless of the consequences. Imagine also that your death will be filmed for the voyeuristic enjoyment of a scopophiliac. What’s that, you say? Well, it seems you need to listen to Matt and Jason’s eye-opening commentary on 1960′s Peeping Tom. Have a seat in the darkened theater as your handsome hosts reveal film trivia, Jason’s love for this movie, sympathetic killers, comparisons to Psycho, bad mothers, vicarious thrills, gender bending, snuff films, the advantages of being blind, metal sub-referencing, and other mood setters. And while you’re watching the screen… we’ll be watching YOU!

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It’s late at night and you’re driving down a lonely highway. As your last ounce of strength to fight off sleep is exhausted, you see a neon sign through the rain-splashed windshield. It directs you to a seemingly quaint motel with plenty of vacancies. What a relief! All you want to do is rest… but this could also be your final resting place. What to do? Well, don’t bother with that useless Bible in the nightstand drawer when you can get all of the survival tips you need from Matt and Jason’s commentary on the 1960 Hitchcockian hair-raiser, Psycho. Your handsome hosts don’t set a fancy table, but the kitchen is full of movie facts, Hitchcock’s profile, Jason’s poorly-hidden sex toys, ethical grey areas, oversized ’60s bras, bad hair, taxidermy as sexual metaphor, phone booths, Lemmy, Matt’s Hollywood metal memories, and one suspiciously missing butcher knife. But don’t concern yourself with that. After all, they wouldn’t even harm a fly.

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People often put teenagers down. Whether it’s for their music or their fashions or their inexperience with the world around them, teens sure get a lot of flack. On top of all that, they might even have to deal with uncontrollable lycanthropic tendencies and related bloodthirsty demands. When that happens, the only ones to turn to are Matt and Jason as they unleash the savage instincts of 1957′s I Was A Teenage Werewolf. Try not to cry as they inject you with film details, the dread of meeting the parents, Matt’s hatred for whistlers, Jason’s reading glasses sex ploy, teenage hormonal rage, marrying gorillas, booby hatches, Costello Meets Cohen’s Wallet, shaved porn, not-picky blind girls, killing retro TV show brats and other transformative tidbits. Now, really. What’s one life compared to such a podcast?

Who could possibly gather all of the monsters together for a fun-filled romp during the spookiest time of the year? None other than your handsome Halloweeny hosts as we serve up a stop-motion animation feast from 1967 known as Mad Monster Party. Learn all about the secrets of destruction as well as movie background, anti-unicorn sentiments, hot puppets, ethnic humor in a PC world, the failures of unattractive people, Jason’s unnatural love for Phyllis Diller, reflections on Hitler, zine fondness, chicks who dig a little struggle, special treatment for special people and other facts that will keep you one step ahead. The invitation is sent. Will YOU attend?

Are you ready for Freddy? Your handsome hosts sure are and we’ve stayed up WAY too late to bring you the 1984 classic slasher, A Nightmare On Elm Street. So, pick up a bottle and veg out with us as we put to bed some razor-sharp movie trivia, the whiskey spit take, the hotness of availability, ’80s morality, how Matt became a KISS fan, sleepwear advice for ladies, childhood bedroom shockers, the paralyzing fear of herpes, slutty theater girls and other things a crucifix won’t stop. Then, when you wake up — IF you ever wake up — stick around as we rip our way through listener e-mail. Enjoy the show or just our pretty voices. But whatever you do. Don’t. Fall. Asleep.

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How far would you go for fame, fortune, sex and… really great piano playing skills? Would you sell your soul to the Devil? Would you trade in your meager existence for someone else’s far better one? Tough decisions. But, what’s much easier than that is bowing before the altar of Terror Transmission and giving yourself fully to our commentary on 1971′s The Mephisto Waltz. Drift off to an eternal slumber of film background, the sensitive Alan Alda, ’70s love sandwiches, the fine art of selectivity, fanny lust, sex lords, teeth tangents, pre-teen soap opera addiction, hard spankings and other multilingual divinations from two horny (but handsome) drunks in creepy masks. By sweet Shalimar, let it be done!

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These days, finding a chaste woman can be difficult. You could roam the countryside hither and yon and still not find a pure source of untainted blood from which to suck greedily. I mean, let’s face it, being a vampire is a real pain in the ass. To alleviate some of that misery, listen to Matt and Jason as they take you on a hopeless journey through 1974′s Blood for Dracula. Feast upon the impure meat of movie facts, the joy of Warhol hatred, being topical, wirgins, dirty undercarriages, lax vampires, making fun of Tony Scott, intentional baldness, foreign charm, failed idealism, and other oily inedibles. Then for dessert, enjoy some delicious e-mails. So, listen in, and we’ll treat ya real sweet.

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No footprints, no blood, no sign of a struggle. That might sound like the clever post-cleanup from one of Matt’s or Jason’s dates gone wrong, but it also describes the ghastly remains of a super-spider’s lunch! What to do? Well, pay close attention as your handsome hosts weave a web of commentary around you, protecting you from the strange side effects of 1955′s Tarantula! As the anti-toxin flows through your veins, enjoy the trip of movie background, lusting the grown up Shirley Temple, the joy of being cultural shut-ins, quack science, women in a man’s film world, lots of movies your hosts like, drunken Nietzscheans, Jason’s fear of spiders, and other creepy crawlers. After the napalm drops, retreat to your own peaceful desert as M&J discuss recent films viewed. And, remember: Science or no science, a girl’s got to get her hair done.

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We believe we have made a significant find in the ruins of 1981, an audio volume of ancient drunken babble and entertaining movie chatter. The episode is entitled “The Evil Dead” — roughly translated: Awesome Commentary! It deals with demons and demon resurrection and those forces which roam the forest and dark bowers of Man’s domain such as film details, Deep Throat, the Jewish zombie question, our three-year anniversary, the Not-Campbell, arboreal rape, crappy beer, humor vs. horror, and other creatures that may lie dormant but are never truly dead. So listen in and, like the others before you, one by one, we will take you. JOIN US!

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Some would say that this world is ruled by demons and monsters, and that we may as well give up right now. Others believe in witchcraft and the supernatural, that evil is good and good is evil. And then there are your handsome hosts, who just want to drink, ogle women and chat about movies. So, true believers, fire up your imagination and get ready for some crafty commentary on 1957′s Night of the Demon. And while we’re not from Missouri, we will indeed show you movie background, boobs, occult conspiracies, the magic of children, skepticism, Jason’s hatred for the Andy Griffith show, psychological curses, dumb Deicide lyrics, playing the odds and… boobs! Once you emerge from the powers of darkness, stay tuned as Matt and Jason share their thoughts on recently-watched movies. Oh, no! It’s in the trees! It’s COMING!

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Adolescence is a world of rapid uncertain change, social and cultural upheaval, and a period of turmoil in which the boundaries of normality and pathology seem notoriously indefinite. But for one young man, it is also a moment of discovering that he’s the freakin’ ANTICHRIST! So, before you start sticking holy daggers into random teenagers, please consult this commentary for 1978′s Damien: Omen II. It’ll be a real revelation when you uncover movie facts, the return of the Mini Moose, crow vs. raven, staying away from frozen lakes, fireworks fiascos, rewriting biblical mythology, gay perms, Matt’s discovery of the foot rest, outsider teen struggles and other beastly blasphemies. Now, it’s time to put away childish things and come with us. We won’t ask you again.

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We’re coming. We’re waiting at the edge of the city, peering around buildings at night, anticipating your submission to our commentary on the 1973 release of Messiah of Evil. As the blood moon rises, lie down on the swinging bed and enjoy details on the film, as well as Jason’s gas station rage, albino mulattos, Farrah’s nipples, Metallica’s downfall, theater prices, sexual compromising, more pre-Monster Bash scheming and one manly, macho high-five! So don’t be afraid. Once you’ve been taken, no one will hear you SCREAM!

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England is a pretty hairy place. Lots of bloody horrible things could happen to you: bad teeth, a penchant for darts, drinking warm beer, wearing floppy hats and, of course, an unnatural death by lycanthropic attack. So, that’s why you should take directions from us by listening to our carnivorous commentary on 1981′s An American Werewolf in London. Until the curse is lifted, follow Matt and Jason completely off the road and into movie background, having fun with the British, being an upright citizen like Jason, pre-Monster Bash hijinks, urinating strategies, seducing innocent girls, the anger towards musical ringtones, the “Fonz Pubis” disease, Swiss Army knife suicide tips and other severe beatings about the face and neck. After the body is left bleeding and naked in an alleyway, join your handsome hosts in a discussion of Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows movie. So, listen in or we will mock you… even in death!

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It’s quite possible that this episode has gone well beyond the boundaries of prudence and good taste. In fact, it might taste a little… familiar. So, pull up a chair to the cannibal feast as Matt and Jason serve up a big ol’ slab of 1968 for their commentary on Spider Baby. Feel yourself caught in the web of movie trivia, women who look like monkeys, Hitler mustaches, gentleman vs. cad, exploring taboos, Matt’s post-virginity Disneyland visit, maxims for all occasions, civil rights destroying black acting careers and other bites that sting, sting, sting! After everything makes a big flash and goes BANG, your handsome hosts will delight you with their thoughts on recent films watched. Oh boy!

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Are you looking for an experience beyond limits? Wanting to become an explorer in the further regions? Let’s face it: Are you a bit kinky… and THEN SOME? Well, here at Terror Transmission, we’re waiting to hoist you upon the proverbial hooks by means of our puzzling commentary on 1987′s Hellraiser. Demons? Angels? None of that will matter while you lament the punishment of film details, shoulder pads, Jason meeting Captain Kangaroo, sexual beach assaults, the multifaceted gem of deception, modern primitives, and other topics from two libertines who definitely have some disturbing sights to show you. Now, you must come with us. Taste our drunken, debauched, foul-mouthed pleasures.

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The zombies are coming. Run to wherever you think you’ll be safe, but Matt and Jason will be on the roof, well-armed and transmitting their commentary on the 1978 survival horror classic, Dawn of the Dead. If you haven’t been bitten yet, come on up as your handsome hosts instruct you on film details, mall culture, Matt’s hatred of the sweater vest zombie, Jason’s fledgling criminal career, surviving an undead assault, bad retro fashions, whiskey science experiments, the majesty of bullet belts, death with dignity, the illusion of safety, the Dawn of the Dead remake, and other large-caliber rounds to the head. So, don’t just sit there… GET UP AND KILL!

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It seems the snatching just won’t STOP! So, once more, Matt and Jason rain intergalactic spooge upon you, but this time with their commentary on the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. So lie back, drift off to sleep, and let the duplication begin through movie background and trivia, urban paranoia, San Francisco nostalgia, anti-religious metaphor, the “sensitive male” ploy, Sutherland’s mustache, the sex lives of pod people, government distrust, “flapjacks” and other pills that you should pop just like candy. And remember, it’s more than a podcast… it’s a conspiracy!