A big budget, solid actors, advanced special effects, years of anticipation and…McG. How could a story about the future war we’ve been waiting to see for 25 years NOT be awesome? We’re gonna try and find out in the finale of our look at The Terminator Saga.

August 4TH

Movie Commentaries and T.V. Shows

You Will Need: A copy of “Terminator Salvation” on DVD or Blu-ray, an MP3 player or computer for listening, and about one hour and fifty-five minutes of free time.

Mike and Max reach the halfway point in their journey through cinema.

Max and Mike are joined by Mehul for the first international episode of Commentary Track Stars.

Teague, Brian, Dorkman, Ryan

Terminator and us are DONE professionally.

The guys continue their series of movie commentary episodes with one of Super Ugly’s guilty pleasures: Charlie’s Angels. It’s another instant classic in which the guys argue about Drew Barrymore’s choice in men and find a little piece of heaven in Cameron Diaz’s awkwardly sexy dance moves.

In between jabs at McG and each other, Ugly smokes enough weed to kill a donkey, Dave gets beligerently drunk, and Grant and Brian barely manage to keep the show from derailing completely! Plus, Lucy Liu, Joey from Friends and Geek Savants favorite, Sam Rockwell.

Pop the dvd in and take a trip down memory lane… it’s not as bad as you remember…

It is the year 2018. The machines have taken over…despite the fact that they are about as easily tricked as Home Alone villains. All Americans have found themselves replaced by Australians and the English, who imitate their accents…blandly. And McG is allowed to direct another movie.

It is a dark time for humanity.

Enter the One Man Band, who, despite Rifftrax beating him to the punch*, has taken on this wonder of movie chicanery. Sam Worthington (playing American Sam Worthington) wakes up to find the world somehow exploded around him. He asks a robot with a machine gun what happened, which in turn leads him to meeting Ensign Chekhov (Anton Yelchin). Sadly, while no one says “Wictor Wictor,” he IS informed that there is a resistance fighting against the trigger-happy machines, which would be good news if it wasn’t run by the kid from Newsies (Christian Bale). From there, things get awkward, as Sam finds himself getting into fist fights with robots, skipping across ponds, and even getting blown up with landmines. Gee, you’d think there’s almost something MYSTERIOUS about him!**

But you’re not just getting ANY iRiff. Not only does the One Man Band upload a virus right where it hurts Skynet the most, you can choose between 6 flavors of iRiff (well, technically 4, depending on region, but it sounds better the way I said it)! Not only are there versions of the riff for the Theatrical and Director’s Cut R-Rated editions, each is also presented in a separate, glorious Stupend-O vision! In these skit-filled editions of the audio track, just pause your film when you hear the bell, and you’ll hear more of the same guaranteed hilarity*** between the PPD-3200 and the One Man Band himself! Things start getting strange when the PPD decides to add a time machine to a broken soda machine…and there soon may be too many One Man Bands to handle! With special guests stars Moleman and even a phone call from Christian Bale****, it’s not to be missed! Well, maybe. I’m not twisting your arm or anything. Just sayin’, is all.

Terminator: Salvation! You’l never look at a tire iron the same way again!

NOTE: Due to some technical issues, the NTSC Theatrical version has been uploaded twice…the correct version to get is called OMBTerminatorSalvNTSCTheatrical.zip. Also, there is a known blooper in the Stupend-O Director’s Cut. This has been fixed, but not yet uploaded; however, it is a cosmetic difference during the introduction, and does not affect the riff itself in any way.

*I definitely suspect time travel was involved. But anyway, this iRiff is absolutely, positively, certifiably guaranteed to have 99% different jokes from the Rifftrax version. Well, maybe 98%.

**Mysterious to anyone who didn’t watch the preview trailers.

***Not a guarantee. Also, watching “The Ice Pirates” Stupend-O is not required, though if you bought that one, I certainly don’t NOT recommend watching it.

****Mr Bale appears courtesy of his widespread rant. He was not officially involved with this iRiff.

NOTE: The Director’s Cut edition is presented in one format; as it is only widely available on Blu-Ray in both NTSC and PAL regions, the riff should work for either edition. Also, the Amazon link leads to the Blu-Ray edition of the film, as Rifftrax already links to the DVD theatrical edition.

Listen closely folks, turn this one on BEFORE you go into your theaters. It’s our full length commentary for Terminator Salvation, a SkyNext you can take with you to the movies! Be sure to listen to the special instructions for syncing our episode up with Terminator Salvation before you head into the movie, and AAC listeners, the start of the commentary has a chapter marking if you really want to be on your guard. Listen closely, you’ve only got one shot – so make it a good one. Good luck, we’re all counting on you.

In AAC format

In MP3 format

The Legion of Dudes are back with their second movie commentary. This time we talk about McG’s Terminator Salvation. Join John, Dan and Russ as they talked about what they liked, disliked, and Easter Eggs galore. Plus we only had to bleep Johnny M one time, Christian Bale would be proud!!

Terminator Salvation is the thrilling story of the journey of a once valuable franchise. When the intellectual property rights lapse after a disappointing third movie, they’re snatched up at well below their estimated market value by a wacky mismatched duo of producers. The petulant star they bring on board demands to play a role that wasn’t actually in the script, massive rewrites ensue, and the novice director is forced to fall back on the skills he honed directing Sugar Ray music videos. Will the franchise rise to the occasion, renewing our enthusiasm for its once beloved characters? Or will the resulting film be a cynical, calculated exercise in maximizing profitability with little regard for story or coherency?

Terminator Salvation firmly casts its lot with the latter. Christian Bale, apparently unaware that The Dark Knight had wrapped shooting, alternates between his raspiest “Harrison Ford in Firewall” whisper and barking like a mandrill/harbor seal hybrid. Fortunately, the movie turns out to not really be about him. It’s actually about the guy from Avatar, the guy who played the new Chekov and a mute eight year old girl. Thrill as the resistance discovers the secret weapon that could save mankind: a specific radio frequency! Bonus points if you can identify which scene Christian Bale was taking so seriously that he unleashed the most humiliating caught-on-camera rant since Hall of Famer George Brett discussed soiling his pants. Google it.

As a result of having to endure repeated viewings of Terminator Salvation, Mike, Kevin and Bill are all done professionally with each other.

Here it is everyone, Episode 002 of The Weekly Rant. Just finished wraps on it and I must say, it was a chore to make it through this movie. And if you thought we were rough on Rise of the Silver Surfer, than you might want to stay away from this commentary. We hold no punches and take on McG, shitty cameos, and the manliness of one of the lead angels.