The Short – “Ghost Rider”

Nicholas Cage not included. This early 80’s short features the spirit of a girl that burned in a bus wreck who has nothing better to do than harass unpopular kids about the perils of school bus evacuation.

The Film – “Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory”

When dreamy and mysterious Dr. Julian Olcott arrives to teach at a sparse girls’ school, (where many of the girls are moonlighting as hookers) mangled bodies start piling up. But nevermind that, there‘s snooping to be done! Watch the cast of this Italian horror who-done-it as they stop at nothing to talk about the dire werewolf situation. No murderous beast is safe from being thoroughly ignored by cul-de-sac subplots and filibuster dialogue.

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The guys get shaken when Dr. Blackwood is suddenly and violently replaced by an enigmatic new villain from the “Ludovico Corporation” (who seemingly Dr. B was also working for).

Their new captor stands to make Dr. B’s treatment of his prisoners look almost humanitarian as he pulls out all the stops to break the will of Rick and his robot pals. What’s more, he seems to have met Rick before without him knowing and sports diabolical anuerism-causing cell phone apps!

Filmed in glorious Talk-O-Vision, Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory [AKA Lycanthropus] is the thrilling tale of people talking about money, people talking about letters, people talking about murder, people talking about wolves, and people talking about sitting down. The wall-to-wall dialogue is delivered at a frightening pace; verbs, nouns, adjectives, and even adverbs explode across the screen like you’ve never heard before!

Maximilian Schell’s brother Carl “The Austrian Joe Estevez” Schell is a horny science teacher with a Messiah complex who bravely fights for the truth against the corrupt administration of an all-girls reform school, and he won’t stop talking until he gets it! He must talk against time to solve a mysterious murder, and at the same time talk about the mildly interesting double life of an equally horny philanthropist type. All this while talking to a modestly attractive moon-faced girl and a witchy spinster who’s probably just as horny as the rest of them.

Oh, and apparently there’s a werewolf who figures in somehow, too.

Join J.C. Walsh as he attempts to fight talking with talking and uncover the deep, dark, boring secrets of Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory!