You Will Need: A copy of “Se7en The Fifth Element” on DVD or Blu-ray, an MP3 player or computer for listening, and about two hours and 15 minutes of free time.

Greetings programs. The Geek in the City Radio Summer of Sci-Fi kicks off with our commentary of Luc Besson’s classic, The 5th Element. Starring Kielen King, Scott Dally, Aaron Barnard, Aaron Duran, and the one and only Dawn Taylor! Brought to you by our friends at Bridge City Comics and Guardian Games.

Teague, Brian, Dorkman, Trey

This film was one of the most-voted-for in our forum Suggestion Box Poll. Why is it so weird, and why does it even work?

Bonjour! Join me as I tackle my first foreign film, the très Français sci fi blockbuster The Fifth Element. It’s the heart-warming story of Bruce Willis as a down-on-his-luck cab driver who meets girl of his dreams Milla Jovovich and takes her on a vacation that includes a cruise ship and Egypt (and ‘splosions!). She’s beautiful, she’s young (waaaay younger than him, actually), she’s a natural redhead (well, clown orange, actually), she’s a perfect being genetically engineered to fight evil, and she dresses like a Cirque du Soleil performer. What more could you ask for? Multipass!

I give some background on the movie and why it’s so very, very French. I compare it to Heavy Metal, Fright Night, Léon, and Blade Runner. I explain the plot, reveal the themes, and point out some of the recurring visual motifs. I heap praise on Milla and Bruce, as well as on Brion James and Ian Holm. I note that Great Evil is not especially punctual. I suggest that David’s collection of makeup and women’s-wear might indicate that he has hobbies outside the priesthood. I wonder if Zorg is possessed by alien chocolate syrup. And I try to remember all the other times in movies that Milla Jovovich has woken up naked in a laboratory.

Note: I was wrong about the Blu-Ray! There actually are two different Blu-Ray releases. I am watching the newer, “Remastered” one, but the actual content should be the same. I don’t think any changes to content were made with any of the releases, DVD or Blu-Ray.

We watch The Fifth Element, with Christiana Ellis, Mike Meitin, Neil from The Borderline Podcast, Steve Eley from Escape Pod, and the Right Rev Chumley from Cult of UHF.

Long before the exceedingly boxy, strange-looking car, there was another Element:

The Fifth Element, a clown-headed young woman in khaki rubber lederhosen who held the key to saving earth from a big ball of evil…stuff. Bruce Willis is a hack (as in “cab driver”) who must protect her from the malevolent Zorg (Gary Oldman sporting an acrylic yarmulke, novelty teeth and an accent that makes him sound like a cross between Foghorn Leghorn and Barney Fife).

The yummy Ukrainian Milla Jovovich stars as Leeloo, the titular element. Yes, earth’s very existence is in the hands of someone named Leeloo.