Teague, Brian, Dorkman, Trey

Oh, look, a modern Dawn of the Dead! I guess this means Teague is probably gonna be all, “oh, I like this one,” huh? What an ass.

Zack Snyder’s recipe for the destruction of an American horror classic: First, toss out all but the barest of bones of the orginial, then combine a cast with the emotional range of a wig modeler’s dummy, a script more at home in a 3rd grade school play, a liberal dash of swearing, and finally bake at a lukewarm pace that makes Vanilla Sky looke like Mission: Impossible. Your guides through this zombie apocalypse are Adam Rush, Dustin Hamilton, and Brandon Anderson, from the soon to come Cynical Nation. Bring books and board games, its gonna be a long ride.