This week we watch The Amityville Horror.

This week we watch A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Its that event that the whole year builds around, celebrated far and wide by countless families across the world, that excites little boys and girls more than any other night of the year. Its VE Day! To shamelessly cash in on the massive surge of web traffic that the date always generates at that time, Goats In The Machine has decided to cash in with a VE Day episode on Dead Snow.

In our feature length commentary of the cult Nazi zombie film we look at what innovations Tommy Wirkola has brought to the idea of the zombie, just how much of the beasts in Dead Snow is zombie and how much is Nazi, and why snow is such a good background to stage copious amounts of blood on.

But crucially we ask a question that has plagued mankind of eons. What would you rather cut off with a chainsaw; your arm or your penis?

William Goldman researched the story for years, and director George Roy Hill toiled through the production with a bad back so that now, years later, some creep on the Internet can blithely say that their fim doesn’t seem as great to him as it used to. Yes, I used to like it so much more than I do now, and throughout the commentary I analyze the diminishing returns, taking the time to parse the difference between movies that are nostalgic about the old west and movies that are nostalgic about movies about the old west. I like Burt Bacharach but think his song is one of the oddest choices ever made in an otherwise solid film. There is much laughter at the heroes’ leap off the cliff, and much eye-rolling at Newman’s bicycle gags. Sync up by hitting “pause” after the 20th Century Fox logo has faded to black, then wait for the countdown.

Commentary for Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain and Star Trek (2009).

Commentary for Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain and Star Trek (2009).

Since,for better or worse, Khan is returning to Star Trek in a new Star Trek movie, the Freaks decided to scrap the regular format and return to the ORIGINAL – Star Trek 2 – The Wrath Of Khan!Join Scott and Chris as they give one of the greatest sequels of all time the commentary treatment! Also, mail is answered and impotant announcements concerning our NEW WEBSITE at TWOTRUEFREAKS.COM – the new home of the DiManzicorp family of podcasts! Stick around to the end to hear the long lost screen test tapes from Wrath Of Khan! It’s a BIT!

Normally, the White House Museum is a delightfully obsessive look at the history and architecture of the president’s residence, with nearly every one of its 135+ rooms fully documented in photos as far back as sources allow. And a small corner of it I use as a repository for commentaries because Zarban.com is fairly full (WHM is a larger account with much more space).

However, since sometime the day before yesterday, it has been a black hole of Internet nothingness. I have GoDaddy’s team of top analysts hard at work on the problem, whenever they can find time to stop watching their own semi-pornographic commercials.

If they don’t post them again on the new site, I’ll host them myself, assuming they have no objection.

The funeral is about to begin. Never mind the scurrying creatures and flying weaponized spheres. Just bow your head and hang on tight as Matt and Jason open the portal to 1979′s Phantasm. You might think that when you die, you go to Heaven, but you’ll actually come to us for movie trivia, ’70s dirtbag guys, why modern cars suck, Matt’s intentionally bad French, hair helmets, bachelorette parties gone wild, dwarf vs. midget vs. little person, unisex names, and other things that are little, brown and low to the ground. It’s definitely going to be a hot time. Hot as love. You know?

Warning: This file may have had silent stretches edited out, so it DOES NOT sync with the movie.

Just in time for Star Trek: Into Darkness, Kevin, Tim and Beth look back on the hotly debated, much loved and much hated 2009 film, Star Trek. Say what you will about whether this reboot is up to Trek standards or not (hint: We think it is!), it is by far the most successful film in franchise history and we had a blast doing the commentary!

We recommend that you listen to this commentary especially if you didn’t like this film. Hopefully, we’ll help you see it in a whole new way.

Far from the big, noisy, all show and no substance movie it’s often portrayed to be, we’ll talk about how Star Trek explores its characters and creates a human story amidst all the action and adventure. We’ll also talk about the amazing interplay between free will and determinism and how calling and destiny are of great importance in Star Trek and in the relationship between God and humankind.

Spock’s Christ figure status makes a cameo or two here as well and you won’t want to miss our discussions of the Gospel as the satisfaction for the longings of Gene Roddenberry’s heart, the nature of the universe, quantum physics and, of course, fashion! It’s a jam-packed commentary full of theology, philosophy, geekery and humor we know you’ll love!

Mikey grabs the hirsute man of legend, Grufflock, to agonise over some of the most….questionable episodes of G1 Transformers. Fear for your sanity as they cover Carnage in C Minor, B.O.T, and Web World

Mikey grabs the hirsute man of legend, Grufflock, to agonise over some of the most….questionable episodes of G1 Transformers. Fear for your sanity as they cover Carnage in C Minor, B.O.T, and Web World

Mikey grabs the hirsute man of legend, Grufflock, to agonise over some of the most….questionable episodes of G1 Transformers. Fear for your sanity as they cover Carnage in C Minor, B.O.T, and Web World

Greetings Programs listen to the user Jimbo get a uprise in the commentary of Tron Uprising Beck’s Beginning

This week Scott Weinberg takes a look back at the best and worst horror films of 2012: Cabin in the Woods, Sinister, The Apparition, Piranha 3DD and more! Follow @scottEweinberg on Twitter and let him know what movies made your best and worst list for 2012 in the comments below.

Hosts Adam Green and Joe Lynch welcome listeners to the Movie Crypt in this inaugural episode. Topics to be covered include a discussion of their decision to do a podcast, what the podcast will be, a look at their upcoming 2nd Season of Holliston (June 4th), a look at the upcoming release of Hatchet III (June 14th), and the trials and tribulations that go into making and promoting both a sitcom and the third entry of a slasher franchise simultaneously. For something truly special to kick off the first episode, Adam and Joe will also perform a full-length commentary track for Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981). Ever since the release of their commentary track to Friday the 13th Part 4 on Paramount’s re-release of the film in 2009, fans have been asking them to do another. Periodically on The Movie Crypt they will perform fan-commentary tracks to movies based on fan requests. Friday 2 is only the first of many to come.

My commentary for the underrated live-action Disney fantasy starring a young Sean Connery.

Original airdate (Canada) : 06 October 1994.

This time Abi and Oli comment over the episode ‘Manhunt’, which guest stars the incomparable Leslie Nielsen as Mountie legend Buck Frobisher. This episode again makes great strides and gets us to the beginnings of a credible Ray/Benny friendship as well as establishing Fraser’s tendency for getting wounded in the leg.

Recurring themes are Fraser’s uncertainties with women, horses, hospitals and Ray’s persistent incredulity at what he’s being asked to do. There’s also some incidental thematic setup for the end of the season but to tell would be to spoil it. We do a fairly good at commenting and even stay on topic! ‘Due South’ is one of those shows that tends to cast actors with reality to spare.

Next time there shall be horses!

Rating: Green. Recorded: 06 May 2013.

We choose commentary movies on a rotation here at Film Bin, and this time we have Rich’s choice to continue the ‘No Retreat No Surrender’ series. We present our commentary for ‘No Retreat No Surrender 2’! It’s kind of interesting to have an anthology of movies under the same name and direction but which are narratively disconnected. Join Rich, Oli and Abi as we go over the movie.

What happens if your lead actors pull out and renege on their contracts, prompting rewrites and recasting near the beginning of production? Does Loren Avedon pull off an ultimately unsympathetic character? Why that yellow top? Why the bizarre tonal dissonance between the first part of the movie and the rest? Was that meal a gag on Soo-Lin’s part? We never got around to making a Film Bin judgement call for this episode but it would probably have stayed in the Film Bin shoebox of questionable bridging movies in series.

Oli goes off on a strange and unconnected Muppet tangent at one point, and may have been in the middle of an episode. Disregard and carry on if you can, and the sonar ping near the end signifies one major cut during the credits for technical reasons. It was a strange commentary to make, especially as Rich was outnumbered by two people who were, at best, in the strangest of moods. He did well to soldier on regardless.

This commentary was made while viewing region two DVDs of this movie, paused to start at the very beginning of the film at 00:00. Lots of fan commentaries from around the world for a myriad of movies and television shows may be found at www.zarban.com, ‘The House of Commentaries’. They don’t have T-shirts but they do have a comprehensive directory and help us find audiences. Thank you, Zarban!

Recorded: 05 May 2013.

Mike and Max discuss the biggest turning point in Steven Soderbergh’s career.

In honor of the big “May the Fourth” weekend, actor Sam Witwer (Clone Wars, Being Human) joins Jimmy and Jason to watch Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. We return to the roots of the franchise for a fun, informative discussion about what makes this film a classic. Join us as we watch the Blu-ray edition of the film that started it all. Celebrate Star Wars Day with RFR and fan fave Sam Witwer for an in depth analysis of A New Hope!

Genuine Harryhausen

• Clash of the Titans (1981)
• The Valley of Gwangi
• Earth vs the Flying Saucers

Inspired by Harryhausen

• Clash of the Titans (2010)
• The Mummy (1999)
• The Giant Behemoth
• Planet of Dinosaurs

Harryhausen did not work on 1933’s King Kong. That was Willis O’Brien. But he worked with O’Brien on 1949’s Mighty Joe Young before venturing off on his own.

In the memory of one of cinema’s greats, the late Ray Harryhausen (June 29, 1920 – May 7, 2013), Rob, Stu and the oh so irish Mikey grab a film that can only be classed as COWBOYS VS DINOSAURS!

Teague, Eddie, Dorkman, Trey
We gather for this very special Mother’s Day to go back on the record about Stephen Sommers and his mummy. Something something your mom.

Faldor returns to take the place of the Doctor from Speakeasy on a final(?) Star Trek commentary. We examine the film as a treatise on Shakespeare and Sherlock Holmes (and international politics and racism, whatever) and speculate on Kim Catrall’s allure.

We discuss some background on how the budget constrained Nick Meyer’s production values and how he nevertheless prevailed mightily. We like this adventure a lot, roast turkey, purple blood, and all.

Cultdom Commentary: Doctor Who – The Crimson Horror

Dave, Mike and Ian take off up north to a small blue shack on the banks of the canal, unfortunately the bulb in the shed burns out and Mike heads out to find Matches while Ian and Dave get a head start on this weeks Commentary: Doctor Who – The Crimson Horror

Join Dustin, Jon, Ed and Don as they give their commentary of the Batman: The Animated Series episode, Heart of Ice.

Commentary Track Stars decided to explain Babe. I caught up with more of Rob Caravaggio’s work on the classics, including our first Woody Allen movie: Annie. Pulp Nightmare did Tank Girl.

What Are You Doing, Movie? (née Down in Front—well, née Geekza, but married for years to Mr. Down in Front before the recent messy divorce) finally returned with Van Helsing. Soulless Minions of Orthodoxy after a several week hiatus with a spiffy new logo and a fresh copy of Iron Eagle, featuring Louis Gosset, Jr, who was yelling at white boys decades before Samuel L Jackson stole his act.

Bradley Taylor did several more commentaries, including The Great Outdoors, and I caught up with a few more from AfterMASH. BastianTime returned several months after doing The NeverEnding Story to do its sequel.

I also found Billy Jack by Talking Through the Movies and From Beyond, by Bloodbaths and Boomsticks.

Jimbo Ritter delivered an episode of GI Joe: Renegades. Cultdom Collective and Staggering Stories did more new Who.

On this a lonely Thursday night JSB got bored and called in friend of the show Josh Teeter to cut a fan commentary track for Stuart Gordon’s cult masterpiece of pink goo and head eating 1986’s FROM BEYOND. So put on your brown tighty whities, put your .44 Magnum in your shoulder holster, cook up some brains and give yourselves a giant brain boner, cause it’s time to get Jeffry’d.