Teague, Brian, Dorkman, Trey

The original edition. Sit down with us and enjoy some cinematic comfort food.

Alternative DVD Commentary for Cobra the 1986 Action Epic starring Sylvester Stallone

The Warehouse 13 official commentaries kept up with production with another episode this week. Cultdom Collective did the pilot ep of Jekyll. Radio Free Skaro finished their classic Who summer extravaganza with “Delta and the Bannermen”.

Sofa Dogs broke their boob-tube habit with a feature film: 500 Days of Summer.

On the weird and horrible side, Commentary Track Stars did Avatar. And Speakeasy returned with Alien 3. Down in Front chose Surrogates for this week.

By comparison, Terror Transmission, original version of Cat People and Low Charisma Party’s choice of Delicatessen are just weird. Likewise, Two A**holes Talk About Nerd Stuff offered Sonny Chiba’s The Street Fighter commentary.

But the normal range, Film Grok did Rocky, our first Rocky film! Tysto did a second commentary for Star Wars Ep 4 (this time the original version). And Cort and Fatboy did Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. And what could be more normal than that?

To sync commentary: Press play on commentary, pause commentary after “3, 2, 1″ countdown. Start movie, and as the Paramount logo appears at the beginning of the movie proper, unpause the commentary. Commentators include Mike Russell of culturepulp.com and The Oregonian, and Erik Henriksen, senior editor of The Portland Mercury. Yet another commentary fueled by bourbon and cookies.

Cultdom Commentary Jekyll Episode One

Dave & Ian sit down to watch Episode one of Steven Moffat’s Jekyll Hope you enjoy our commentary.

Returning to movie commentaries on the podcast, Scott Carelli joins me for a look at the 2009 film, (500) Days of Summer. Directed by Marc Webb (of My Chemical Romance music videos fame), the story concerns a young man who falls in love with a girl who doesn’t seem to feel the same way. Tom has feelings for Summer, but she tries to keep things casual. As we see the ins and outs of their relationship, Summer begins drifting away while Tom discovers who he truly is and what it means to be in love.

Please join Scott and I as we talk about mixed messages, running into your ex, commitment issues and the differences between friends and lovers. Remember to listen for the preemptive countdown before starting the movie on your DVD.

After two house moves Dr and Lynch are back to discuss Alien 3. They try to bring the funny, but the movie and it’s history is just too damn interesting and most of the time they bring the facts instead. We’re watching the special edition version which, as an experiment, Dr hadn’t watched before, so listen to his first reactions as he spots all of the differences (there are a lot). Lynch also introduces the worst alcoholic drinks known to mankind into the mix but we keep it together right up until the point when the doorbell rings to denote the arrival of the end credits.

Jack Kenny (executive producer), Nell Scovell (writer of episode), Tom Lieber (Director, Development & Current Series UCP), Erik Storey (SVP, Programming Syfy), and Matt Rumford (administrative assistant, Syfy) provide audio commentary for episode 209 “Vendetta.”

another commentary

THIS IS A VIDEO COMMENTARY

Oh boy

THIS IS A VIDEO COMMENTARY

Teh Pwn Shop’s brand new feature, Commentaries! Sit in with Clumsy, Craigie, and johnsonic7, as they watch and comment on the straight to video 1999 epic, Sonic The Hedgehog.

THIS IS A VIDEO COMMENTARY

Simon Belmont wants to mate with Mother Brain. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Video

Having a cat in your home for the first time involves more than you think. Cats are not necessarily the cuddly creatures some people imagine and you need to consider several things before sharing your abode with a feline: food costs, spaying or neutering, vaccinations, romantic jealousies, vicious attacks, brutal murderous rages, etc. Matt and Jason would like to help you through the transition with their commentary on the 1942 horror noir creeper, Cat People. Curl up in a ball and play with some yarn as M&J deliver the inside scoop on this Val Lewton classic, as well as pertinent discussion on crossdressing, public ogling, shoulder pads, wine, cats vs. dogs, and assorted obscenities. After the feature, zone out with some catnip as your hosts chat about their latest DVD viewings. Truly, a transforming experience.v

Warning: These files have had silent stretches edited out, so they DO NOT sync with the movie. Why? Because these guys are morons who don’t understand the concept of a running commentary.

Yes, incredibly, I’ve broken my solemn oath not to do a Star Wars commentary a third time, this time by commentating on the original version of Star Wars from the bonus disk of the slim case boxed set. This is technically not the “theatrical” version, but is close enough. It’s the one you may remember from VHS or laser disk or etched into stone tablets on Mount Olympus. It is the Star Wars.

I spend all my time disassembling the story and examining it piece by piece except when I’m making fun of C-3P0 or dismissing Chewbacca. I compare it to The Hidden Fortress, the hero’s journey monomyth, King Arthur, Gilgamesh, Greek myths, westerns, and Flash Gordon serials. I attempt to “fix” it—and by doing a lot more than making Greedo shoot first.

And welcome to Film Thugs, who have a great set of great-sounding commentaries already. And their latest one is for Rear Window—our second Hitchcock film of all (and it’s about time—there are two commentaries for the virtual remake, Disturbia).

Unfortunately, the time has now come to draw Man Month 2010 to a close. Sadly, there must always come a time when we must cease eating bricks and waxing our mustaches, and return to the real world, scraggly and wussy as it may be.

Before that, however, the Two Assholes (and Guesthole #1) have decided to give you one final dose of Vitamin Awesome in the form of a commentary track for the 1974 Sonny Chiba classic, The Street Fighter. Notice the “The”, there. This is most assuredly none of the two-bit pieces of garbage licensed from the 16-bit classic video game. This is 1000MBit of pure, ridiculous karate (from Japan, not China) action shoved straight down your collective pie-holes (and any other holes you may choose to shove it down).

Unfortunately, you’re likely going to have to spend a significant amount of time looking for a store to rent this beast of a film from, but when you do, you’ll be glad the Two Assholes sent you. So sit down with some scrap metal and motor oil, and enjoy the conclusion of Man Month.

Time to don your berets and cigarettes, Dale and Max are poppin’ in Delicatessen–the 1991 art-house film by Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro–and it’s gonna be brimming with joie de vivre and omelette du fromage! Je ne parle pas français. This week we’ll hear Dale discuss “brain jizz”, Max consider eating his family and friends, and both of them insist that they are cool. Or, I mean, chouette.

Goku is a [wild jungle boy] teenager with [inhuman strength and an insatiable hunger] a grandpa. He lives [alone] in shame, fending for himself against [countless dinosaurs and other man-eating creatures] bullies. The [naïve, monkey-tailed] jacketed fighter’s life [changes] continues when he meets Bulma, a girl who is on a [quest] quick errand to collect seven “Dragon Balls,” one of which just happens to be Goku’s most [prized] round possession. With all seven Dragon Balls, Bulma hopes to [summon the powerful dragon Shen Long and have her one wish granted] be famous. But the precious orbs are scattered all over the [world] immediate area, and Bulma needs Goku’s help! With a [magic staff for a weapon] shirt and a [flying cloud for a ride] pair of pants, Goku sets out on the [adventure] sequence of events of [a lifetime] about an hour and twenty minutes…

Serge John Curtis Leah

Ya know, when you really look at it, what we’ve come to know as the iconic boxing/underdog film is actually a character piece.

Teague, Brian, Dorkman, Trey

I’ll let the Down in Front Glossary do the talking: “Sci-fi film released in 2009 that is informally assumed to rip off literally every trope or moment from science fiction cinema and literature throughout history.”

So it’s come to this… the final installment of the summer Classic Series Commentary series has arrived, and oh what an arrival it was. Delta and the Bannermen gets put through one end of the RFS grinder and goodness only knows what will come out the other end. Warren’s notorious hatred of Sylvester McCoy’s tenure underlies the episode, but what did he think of the story when all was said and done? Add to that the collective pants-wetting over the upcoming release of The Seeds of Doom on DVD and pretty much the entire gamut of human emotion comes through in this episode of Radio Free Skaro!

Can we be serious for a moment? No, really? Can we? Well, we’re about to find out.

It’s Jim’s birthday so we (well, he) decided that it was time to take a look at his favorite director, and one of his favorite films.

This is an honest to God attempt to analyze and discuss one of the few near perfect films ever made.

Clarkson and Jim go slightly more obscure in their assault on “The Last American Virgin.”

Finally, Jim and Clarkson watch a movie they LIKE!

From the dawn of time we came; moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the Gathering; when the few who remain will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you… until now.

Clarkson and Jim record their musings while watching “The Karate Kid.” It’s like watching the movie with them, except you’ll still have some beer left when it’s over.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch a bad movie with Clarkson and a vicodin addled Jim? Well, wonder no further.

Are we the meanest? Sho’nuff! Are we the prettiest? Sho’nuff! Are we the baddest mofos low down around this town? Sho’nuff! Well who are we?

Mike and Max are joined by David and Dave for another crossover with the James Cameron Fan Podcast.

From the The James Cameron Fan Podcast:

In this 13th episode, David, Dave, Mike, and Max talk about ‘Avatar’ in real-time with the theatrical edition DVD.

Radio Free Skaro continued their classic Who roll with “Mindwarp”. Sofa Dogs did another episode of Dollhouse.

Bootleg Director posted the brand-new The Expendables. Low Charisma Party did Danny Boyle’s Sunshine.

Meanwhile, Down in Front chose Armageddon for this week, further demonstrating their secret love for Michael Bay. Also from the 90s, This Week in Geek was back with Toy Story 2.

DVD Commentaries UK did the ’80s-awesome werewolf thriller The Howling. And Two A**holes Talk About Nerd Stuff provided a sixth Road House commentary. There were a few iRiffs, including one for Dune.

And representing the ’70s, Film Grok did the old-school spy thriller Three Days of the Condor. Commentary Track Stars did Alien.

Update: I’ve added the top-ranked directors now and will continue to add the rest.